


More Than Words

by 16Sydd16



Category: Little Mix (Band)
Genre: Baby, Cute, F/F, F/M, Fluffy, Gen, Leighandre, Referenced Jesy Nelson/Harry James, i think you'll like it, jade's there too, just give it a shot pls, little mix - Freeform, pesy - Freeform, she's just single and happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-08-18 22:37:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20199307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/16Sydd16/pseuds/16Sydd16
Summary: Jesy Nelson, 1/4 of the world's biggest girl band, needs help. And she's FINALLY willing to admit it. Who better to call than her best friend and band mate, Perrie Edwards?





	1. I think of you, I'll never be alone

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Little Mix's More Than Words.  
Enjoy!!  
xx

I pick up the phone and then put it down again for the third time in a minute. It’s 3am and I don’t want to bother her, but who else can I call? 

I pick up the phone once again and click her contact before I can talk myself out of it. 

“Hello?” she answers groggily, and I immediately regret calling. 

“Hey, sorry-” I say, my voice shaky. “I, um.”

“Jes, what’s wrong?” She asks, suddenly sounding much more awake. 

“Well, I. The baby won’t stop crying, and I’ve tried everything and she’s not hungry and-and I’m worried she might be sick, and I’m just so  _ tired _ , Pezza, and I can’t-” I say, bursting into tears. 

“I’m coming over,” she says, and I can already hear her rustling around, looking around the house for a suitable pair of shoes. 

“I’m sorry,” I say. 

“Don’t worry, baba. Just give me 15 minutes, okay? I’ll be right over.”

“Okay,” I say, wiping away my tears. Not that it makes a difference, because for every one I wipe away there seems to be 2 to take its place, but whatever. I’m trying. “Love you.”

“Love you too. I’ll see you in a few, okay?” She says.

“See you in a few,” I parrot, hanging up the phone. The baby is still crying from her place in my arms, and I just look down at her, helpless. 

“Please tell me what you want,” I plead, though I know she can’t understand. 

She just cries, as she has been all night. I try walking around, bouncing up and down on my feet, and finally she stops crying. But then I start to get dizzy from the bouncing, ‘cos I’m just so tired, so I stop because I don’t want to drop her and then she starts crying again, so I try and bounce her sitting down but that doesn’t work. 

I’m legitimately at my wits end when finally, blessedly, I hear a key turn in the door. 

Pez has had a key to my house since I moved in, and I’ve never been more grateful that I gave her one than I am in this moment.

“Hey,” she says gently, wrapping me in a hug, squalling baby between us and all. I know I must look a state, with my saggy sweats and my spit-up stained white t-shirt and hair that hasn’t been washed in a week, not to mention my tear-stained cheeks and the screaming 4 month old in my arms. 

“She wants to be bounced, but I got too dizzy to bounce her ‘cos I haven’t slept, and I didn’t want to drop her, so I tried to bounce her sitting down but she doesn’t want to be bounced sitting down and I-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Perrie says softly, placing a gentle hand on my arm. “I can bounce her for a while, okay? I’ve been asleep since 9pm, so I’m good to go. You go sleep for a bit, alright?”

“Are you sure?” I ask. I desperately need sleep, and even though I trust Perrie completely, the baby’s hardly left my side in the five months she’s been on this earth. 

“Go to sleep, Jes. I’ve got Parker, she’ll be alright. You need to get some sleep to be able to keep taking care of her, right? Just let me have her for a bit, let me get her to sleep, and then I’ll bring her into your room. You still keep the bassinet by your bed, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I nod. 

“Alright, then. Try and sleep, okay? Baby P and I will be in there with you before you know it. Isn’t that right, peanut?” she asks the baby, who has quieted down considerably since Perrie started bouncing her. “Go to sleep, Mama,” she says in a baby voice. 

I plant a grateful kiss on her cheek as she bounces the baby, and make my way up the stairs to the master bedroom. 

Within seconds of my head hitting the pillow, I am asleep. 

I wake a while later when I hear the door open, and see Perrie lay a sleeping Parker in her bassinet. I don’t know how she’s done it, and I could not be more grateful for my best friend right now. 

“Thank you,” I whisper. 

“Of course,” she says with a yawn. “Do you want me to stay?”

“Could you?”

“‘Course I can,” she says, climbing into the bed. 

“I smell bad,” I warn her as she snuggles up to me. 

“Good thing I can’t smell then, eh?” She asks with a quiet laugh. 

I hum in agreement, relishing in the comfort I feel when Perrie stretches an arm over me and wraps it around my waist, effectively spooning me. No one’s held me in months, and I cry, just a little. I know Perrie can tell, but she doesn’t say anything, just holds me tight and hums out a soothing  _ sshhhhh _ here and there, pressing kisses to the crown of my head until I fall asleep. 

She’s not holding me when I wake in the morning, but she is holding my baby. She wanders ‘round the kitchen with her, talking nonsensically and eliciting happy gurgles from Parker. 

“Good morning,” I say, smiling at them as I enter the room.

“Good morning, Mama,” Perrie says in a baby voice, waving Parker’s chubby little fist at me. The baby gurgles in delight

“How are you so good at that?” I ask, mostly curious and maybe even a little jealous. 

“I dunno,” she says, smiling at me. “I think the baby’s just taking pity on me.”

“Hmm,” I hum, quickly sipping down the lukewarm tea perrie sets in front of me. 

“Sorry if the tea’s col-”

“It’s perfect,” I say, not caring about the temperature. It is liquid and it is caffeinated and that is enough. “So, what does Auntie Perrie have planned for the day?”

“Well, Auntie Perrie was supposed to go to spin class with Auntie Leigh-Leigh, but baby Parker saved her,” Perrie coos at the baby, and I can’t help but laugh. 

“You’ve been getting out of going to spin with Leigh some how, some way for quite some time now. I’m impressed,” I say.

“Well, I’m afraid today would’ve been the day I actually had to attend if you hadn’t saved me. Leigh really wants me to meet the instructor, and I was running out of excuses. One can only get “food poisoning” so many times,” she says with a sly grin.

I can’t help but laugh again, absolutely delighted when the baby joins in with her happy gurgles. As Perrie moves closer the baby makes grabby hands for me, so of course I oblige and bring her to rest on my lap. She babbles happily, grabbing for her feet, and I am absolutely enamoured. 

A quick glance up at Perrie finds her already staring at me, and I give her a little smile before focusing my attention back on the baby. 

“Seriously, Pez,” I say, still looking at the baby. “Thank you for coming over last night. I was overwrought and panicked and-”

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” she says, brushing the hair out of my face and dropping a kiss to my forehead. I blush at the contact, a surprise to both me and her, surely, but I chalk my odd reaction up to being deprived of any sort of physical contact with another adult human for the last couple months. “You know you don’t have to wait for it to get that bad, right? We all love Peanut, and more importantly, we love you. You don’t have to do this by yourself, Jes.”

“I know,” I say, biting my lip to keep from crying. Again. “Ugh, I’m such a mess.”

“You’ve earned it,” Perrie says. “It’s been an… eventful, emotional few months, that’s for sure. You deserve to be a little bit of a mess.”

“Thanks, Pez,” I say, leaning my head against her. 

“‘Course, baba,” she says, stroking my cheek. “Now, do you wanna sleep some more? Or something?”

“I might take a shower, if you’ve got time to-” I start.

“I have time for everything. I have no plans for the day that don’t involve my best friend and her ridiculously cute baby,” she says with a grin. 

“She is cute, in’ she?” I say, beaming. 

“She’s gorgeous, Jes. Just like her mum. Well, except the hair,” she says with a laugh. 

Parker has the whitest blonde hair I’ve ever seen, and I have no idea where she got it from. Must be from some latent gene that’s just decided to make an appearance this generation.

“Yeah, where the hell did that come from?” I muse, stroking her soft, white curls. 

“Jessica, language,” Perrie barks at me. I look up at her and laugh, thinking she’s kidding, but the stern look she’s giving me tells me otherwise. 

“She doesn’t know what it means! She can’t even speak yet!” I say.

“No, not yet. But do you really want that to be her first word?” Perrie asks. 

“No,” I grumble, and she smiles. 

“Good. Now, give me the baby so you can go take a shower. You stink.”

“Hey! How would you know, you can’t even smell!” I say, laughing and handing her the baby.

“I can just tell,” she says, affecting an accent that wouldn’t be out of place on  _ Made in Chelsea.  _

“Oh, sod off,” I say, laughing again. 

“Jes! The b-”

“I know, I know, the baby. I’m going,” I say, getting up from the barstool I’m propped on. “She usually gets hungry again about 10, and I should be out by then, but if I’m not then there’s formula in the pantry, as well as in the cupboard atop the-”

“-fridge, I know. I found it this morning. Don’t worry, Jesminda, we’ll be alright.”

“Alright,” I say with a smile, starting my walk toward the stairs. “Thank you, Perrie.”

“No problem, Love.”

I take a shower that is by normal standards much too hot and too long, but I haven’t taken a shower that lasted longer than 5 minutes or was scalding hot since Parker was 2 weeks old, and Harry was still around to tend her while I washed. Now, I either lay her in her little chair and shower as quickly as humanly possible, or bring her into the shower with me, which means that I have to keep the water cool enough for her soft little baby skin. Today, I take my time to wash my hair, and let the water rain down on me a bit before I get to thinking about my life and it all gets to be a bit too much. I get out once my thoughts start to wander to Harry. I haven’t really had time to properly process his leaving the baby and I, since I’ve been all too busy taking care of the baby. At this point, I’m really too emotionally drained to feel anything but stupid. Stupid that I fell for him in the first place, stupid that I ignored the red flags, stupid that I refused to see this coming, stupid that-

I shake myself, not needing this right now, and set about finding some clothes and towel-drying my hair. I give my hair a good brush-through and throw on some black leggings, a sports bra, and a large plaid button down before going back down to Perrie and the baby. 

I find them on the floor, Parker laid out on her tummy on her fuzzy yellow blanket. Perrie’s laid out face down as well, propped up on her elbows so she can duck her head down and be eye level with the baby, cooing soft encouragements and rolling toys toward her, telling her what a wonderful girl she is. 

The sight makes my heart clench in a way that is definitely totally inappropriate, considering Perrie is my best friend, but I revel in it, having felt nothing but negative romantic emotions for so long. 

Plus, if I need an excuse, I can blame it on the crazy hormones. 

“Are we having tummy time?” I ask in my soft baby voice, walking over to my two favorite girls. 

“We are!” Perrie says with a grin, finding her way to a sitting position instead of laying. Once she’s sat up, she pats the ground next to her, gesturing for me to sit. I oblige, letting Perrie wrap an arm around me and give me a squeeze. I expect her to move her arm, but she doesn’t, and I’m grateful. “Me and baby P were just talking about rolling over, weren’t we baby?” 

The baby gurgles in agreement, hitting her little fists on the ground. I just smile and lean against Perrie, enjoying this happy little moment. 

“Are you feeling any better?” Perrie asks, leaning her head against my own, wet hair and all. 

“Much, thank you,” I say, closing my eyes. 

“Good,” she says, giving me another little squeeze. We stay like this until the baby starts to fuss. 

I scoop her up into my arms, placing a kiss on her little head before settling her against my chest. 

“Are you hungry, little one?” Perrie asks the baby, who’s got on her best pout. 

“She ate at 10?” I ask, turning my head to look at Perrie, whose face is maybe 4 inches from mine. My eyes flick down to her lips momentarily before meeting her own. If she notices, she’s kind enough not to say anything. 

“Yeah, like a little gremlin. A cute one,” she laughs, “but she wolfed down her whole bottle.”

“That’s my girl,” I say, grinning down at the baby, who’s no longer fussing. “You was just feeling left out of the cuddle, weren’t ya?” 

She coos at me, and even though I know she can’t really understand me, at times like this I can’t help but wonder.

I spend the next while cooing over the baby with Perrie, who’s still got an arm thrown around me. 

Eventually, her little eyes start to droop, so I rock her gently until she falls asleep. Once she’s out, I get up and place her in her little swing between the living room and the kitchen, and set about finding some food. 

Perrie’s right behind me. She places a soft kiss on Parker’s head before following me into the kitchen. 

One look into the pantry is enough to bulldoze my current happy mood. 

“Shit,” I mumble, taking in the 3 canisters of baby formula and little else. 

“Jes, the baby-”

“-is asleep, _ and _ in the other room,” I say, smiling at Perrie’s concern for  _ my _ child. “She can’t hear me.”

“You’re right,” Perrie says, shooting me a contrite smile, which I return.

“Have you eaten yet today?” I ask her. 

“Nah, I was too concerned with the baby. I don’t know how you do it, truthfully. I’ve been here less than a day and I’m already worn out,” Perrie says honestly. It’s then that I notice the little bags under her eyes. Before I have the good sense to stop myself, I bring my hand up to her face and run my thumb over them. “How come you don’t look tired?”

“My body has adjusted,” I say sarcastically. “Also, under-eye filler.” 

“Really?” Perrie asks. 

I nod my head, removing my hand from her face. “Yeah, just a little. Harry talked me into it before he left.” 

Perrie’s face turns stormy, and I can see her jaw tense. 

“How are you doing with… all that?” She asks. 

I raise my arms a little and shrug my shoulders, unsure of how else to respond. 

“Oh, Jes,” she says, pulling me into a tight hug. I rest my head on her shoulder, staying like that until the telltale growl of Perrie’s stomach breaks us apart. 

“There she is,” I say with a laugh, pulling away. “Now, I’m afraid we’ll have to order in, unless you want me to run to the store-”

“Nonsense,” she says. “We can go to the store tomorrow.” 

“We?” I ask, hoping that means what I think it means.

“Yeah, if that’s alright,” she says tentatively.

“Of course that’s alright! I just know you hate grocery shopping,” I say.

“I do. But I love you, so,” she says, rolling her eyes and clucking her tongue. 

“I love you too,” I say, pulling her in for one last hug before we leave the pantry and decide on some takeout. 

I want Indian, which Perrie is fine with, until she sees the dessert menu. 

“Oranges? Oranges are not a dessert! They’re a fruit!” She says, shocked. “Where’s the real dessert menu?”

“This  _ is _ the real dessert menu, babe,” I say with a laugh. “We don’t need the dessert anyway.”

“Uh, yes we do! That baby wore me out! We deserve a whole damn cake, nonetheless a little bit of restaurant dessert!”

I can’t help but laugh. “Pezza, it’s only noon. The baby hasn’t even started to wear you out.”

“How are you still alive?” She asks a little too seriously, resting her head on my shoulder.

“I’m not sure. You just get used to it, I guess,” I say lamely. 

“Well, regardless, we deserve a treat.” 

I snort, but don’t protest. “Alright, then. But I’m only having a bite ‘cos I’ve still got baby weight-”

“Oh, sod off. You look bangin’,” she says. 

“My tummy is flabby,” I say quietly. 

“Yeah, so is mine! And it didn’t even have a baby in it!” She says. I know she’s lying, ‘cos I caught a peek of her still-tight tummy earlier, but I appreciate her efforts nonetheless. “We’re on hiatus, let’s eat!” 

“Okay, you’ve convinced me. We can-”

“Yay!” she says, throwing her arms around me and planting a smacking kiss on my cheek. “Are there any dessert shops ‘round here?” 

“Three and a half blocks that way,” I say, pointing East. “They have a German chocolate cake that I used to send for practically every day of my third trimester.”

“Mmh, that sounds perfect!” Perrie says with a moan. “We’ll go and pick it up, say we’ve burned off the calories.” 

“The baby loves a walk anyway,” I agree. 

“Alright, then. Can we order food now?” She practically begs. 

“Yeah, of course,” I say, laughing. 

We order what is, objectively, too much Indian food, and then wait on the couch for it to get here. 

The both of us manage to fall asleep catching up on TOWIE before the food arrives, and as such, we both jolt awake when the doorbell rings. 

“Shite, that’s loud,” Perrie says rubbing at her eyes. 

“Yeah, I just hope the baby-” I start, before I’m interrupted by a cry. “Ugh, no,” I groan. 

“I’ll get the baby,” Perrie says, giving my leg a pat and hopping up from the couch. My heart does a little flip-flop at the ease of it all, the casual air of  _ I’ll get the baby _ , but before I can think on it anymore, I’m interrupted by another ring of the bell. 

I run to the door quickly, having made the delivery man wait long enough, and give him a generous tip after he hands me three large bags of food. 

I carry it all into the sitting room, planning to eat on the couch, and set it on the coffee table. 

“Pez?” I yell. 

“Eh?” 

“What’ll you have to drink?”

“Just water, babe, thanks,” she yells. I grab a couple glasses from the kitchen and fill them to the brim, not skimping at all on the ice, and then heat a mug-full of water for the baby’s bottle, readying it so that she can eat while we do. 

Perrie and Parker are still nowhere to be found by the time I return to the living room, so I just settle on the couch and wait for them. 

After 5 more minutes they’re still out of sight, so I set off to find them. I am quite hungry, after all. 

“Pezza?” I call softly, but get no response. I wander around the first floor, and then up the stairs when I don’t find them. 

I debate calling for Perrie again, but before I can I’m caught off guard by happy baby noises coming from the nursery. I walk in slowly, wondering what’s made Parker so pleased, and find Perrie blowing loud raspberries on the baby’s tummy, causing her to laugh hysterically. 

I can’t help but smile, both at my best friend and my baby, and for the first time in a while, I wonder if things might actually turn out all right. 

“So this is what’s taking so long,” I say, unable to keep the grin from my face. 

“She was just so happy, I didn’t have the heart to redress her once I changed her. And then- well, just watch!” she says, blowing another raspberry right on Parker’s bare belly, causing her to crack up again. 

“There’s no better sound than that,” I say in response, coming over to stand by them. Parker starts cooing again once she sees me, as if to offer her staunch approval in my choice of best friend. “Hi, baby.”

She makes some more happy noises at me before holding her arms up, and I pick her up off the table. “Have you got her onesie?” I ask Perrie. She grabs a little pink outfit with white polka dots and hands it to me. 

I look at her, a bit confused. 

“She needed a new outfit for our walk,” Perrie says conspicuously. 

I raise my eyebrows at her. 

“Alright,  _ fine _ ,” she grumbles. “I just saw it in the drawer when I grabbed a diaper and it was too cute and I just really wanted to dress her up in it.”

I grin at her, the sort of grin where I have to squint ‘cos I’m grinning so hard. 

“You’ve forgot the matching socks,” I say. 

“There’s matching socks?” she asks, as if she can’t believe it.

“Yep. They look like little shoes and have lace around the ankles,” I say. 

She squeals, rifling through the drawers until she finds them, and then jumps up and down once she actually has them in hand. 

“Wait until you see them on, I almost cried,” I say. 

Parker seems all too pleased to hang out in her diaper for now, so we decide to dress her after lunch and before our walk to the dessert shop. 

We rip into the food quickly once we’re downstairs, not even caring that it’s a little cold. I tuck Parker in my arm so that her bottle is leaned against me and she and I can eat simultaneously. 

“How’ve you done that?” Perrie asks once she notices. 

“Practice,” I say, and continue devouring my food. 

Once the three of us have finished, Perrie takes the food to the kitchen and stows it in the fridge. I burp the baby who, thankfully, refrains from spitting up all over me. 

We laze around a bit after that, having some more tummy time and playing about 3,000 rounds of peek-a-boo, before I leave Perrie to dress the baby while I go fetch the stroller from the garage. 

“Jes, I can’t cope,” she tells me once I’ve re-entered the room, stroller in hand. “Look at her,” Perrie says, holding my now-dressed child in the air and nuzzling her face into the baby’s belly.

“She is the cutest baby in the whole wide world,” I say, taking on my baby voice and cooing at my little munchkin. “Yes, she is. She’s just so cute.”

“Ugh,” is all Perrie can muster, and I can’t blame her. 

“Are you ready for cake?” I ask, knowing that’ll get her attention. 

“If I ever answer no to that question, please know that an alien or something has taken life over me and invaded my body,” she says in response. 

“Noted,” I say with a laugh, folding out the stroller. Perrie grab’s Parker’s blanket from where it’s draped on the couch, as well as a baseball cap for each of us, and then we’re off. 

Since Parker was born, I almost never leave the house if I don’t have to, so this little excursion is a nice change of pace. Perrie and I chat along the way, Parker gurgling her way into the conversation a couple of times. 

We arrive at the shop with little incident, a couple of people saying hi to us on the way, but no one wanting photos or wondering at the baby. 

“Hi, welcome to- oh, um, hi,” the clerk says once we walk in. I know she’s recognized us, but she’s polite enough to not point it out. “What can I get you?”

“We’ll have a  _ Little Mix _ of things,” Perrie says with a waggle of her eyebrows. 

“Wow, that one was bad,” I say, groaning. Parker starts to fuss. “See? Not even the baby liked that one,” I say, unbuckling her and pulling her out of her stroller.

“Traitor,” Perrie says to the baby, who grunts at her. I can’t help but giggle, and both Perrie and the store clerk follow suit soon after. 

“I, ah, sorta knew who you guys were, but I didn’t want to say anything,” the clerk says.

“Ah, that’s alright,” Perrie says, flashing her sunny grin. “We don’t mind.” 

The clerk smiles back. “What can I get you?” 

Perrie takes her time, picks out a bit of this and a little of that, before ordering four slices of German chocolate cake. 

“Four?” I ask. “Perrie-”

“We’re on hiatus, I’ll eat what I want, thank you,” Perrie says haughtily. “Plus, one of us just had a baby-”

“Yeah,  _ me _ ,” I remind her.

“-which means I never had the chance to eat for two, so I’m starting now,” she says seriously.

I can’t help but laugh and wave my hand at her dismissively. I don’t comment on anything else she orders. 

When we try to leave, it becomes apparent that Perrie’s ordered so much that it’s cumbersome to carry. Additionally, Parker does not want to sit in her stroller. So, I start loading the boxes full of cakes, cookies, tarts, etc. into her seat, and decide to just keep her in my arms on the walk home. I feel safest with her there, anyway. Perrie sets about filling the stroller with the rest of the goodies, and then pays the clerk. Once she’s finished, she turns to me, opening her mouth and then closing it again. 

“Out with it,” I say. I don’t like hesitation. 

“I want the baby,” Perrie says in a funny accent. 

I laugh, but hand Parker over regardless. She’s unbothered, quickly exchanging a fistful of my wavy brown hair for a fistful of Perrie’s straight blonde. 

Perrie winces after a particularly hard tug. 

“Don’t tear out Auntie Perrie’s extensions, Love,” she chides gently, baby voice in full effect. Parker just laughs and tugs again before bringing the fistful of hair to her mouth. 

Perrie looks at me, concerned. “That can’t be hygienic.”

“I used to chew my hair when I was little,” I shrug. “I turned out alright.”

Perrie looks a little grossed out, but will deny Parker nothing nonetheless. 

The shopkeep shouts a quick  _ have a nice day _ as we exit, and we start the journey back to mine. 

Unlike our journey to the bakery, we’re stopped a number of times on the way back. First, by a pair of girls who want a picture with Perrie and me. They ask after the baby but understand when I politely decline to include her face in the pictures. Perrie keeps her close, laying Parker on her shoulder. Turned around, wrapped in a blanket, and with a little hat from the diaper bag plopped on her head, Parker is indistinguishable from any other baby. The next time we’re stopped is by an older couple who want to moon over the baby, and I let them. She coos and gurgles at all the right times, already a little ham, and I couldn’t be prouder. The next two times we’re stopped are Little-Mix related, but the final time is by a woman who clearly has no idea who we are, and doesn’t much care. She only has eyes for the baby. 

“Beautiful,” she murmurs in heavily accented English. “How old?”

“Five months,” Perrie answers easily, beaming with pride. I can’t help but smile, seeing how proud she is of Parker, even though she doesn’t have to be.

“Hello,” the Babushka woman says to Parker, giving the tiniest wave. Parker is quick to snatch her finger, gurgling happily. She is my child, so  _ of course _ she loves the attention. 

The woman looks to me quickly, as if asking if her contact with the baby is alright, and I nod. Most people just grab hold, grubby fingers and all, so this woman’s respectful restraint is refreshing. 

She beams down at the baby a couple moments more. 

“Your eyes,” she says, nodding to me. I smile, happy for our resemblance to be acknowledged. The baby doesn’t really look a whole lot like me, so I’m grateful for any connection to be made. “Not your forehead. Father?”

“He’s gone,” I say flatly before I really understand what she’s suggesting. I feel Perrie’s free arm wrap around my waist and settle on my hip, giving me a squeeze. 

“Ah,” she says, nodding. She smiles at Parker one last time before looking up at Perrie and I, almost… studying us. “Two mother is better anyway. Men is too...headache.”

And with that, she’s gone. 

Perrie and I are too stunned to move for a moment. 

“Did that little old woman think we’re a lesbian couple?” She asks me, a confused smile making its way onto her face. 

“I think so,” I say, laughing. “I mean, you do have one arm around me and one around the baby,” I say, gesturing to Perrie’s hand that sits almost possessively on my hip. 

“I mean, we do look a little gay,” Perrie says, gesturing to my half-buttoned flannel and sports bra combo. 

“The hats probably don’t help,” I say, laughing. 

“No, probably not,” she says, squeezing at my hip once more before releasing me. “Well then, wifey, shall we go home?”

I laugh and give her a little shove that’s barely a shove at all, as she’s still holding my precious little baby. Parker gurgles happily, clapping her hands together, just once. My eyes shoot up to meet Perrie’s, as if to ask  _ did that really happen?  _

“Did Peanut just clap?” She asks, confirming my suspicions. 

“No one’s gonna believe us,” I say in agreement. 

“Well done, Love!” Perrie coos at the baby, who eats up the praise, cooing back at her. 

I look at the baby and then back up at Perrie, who’s still babbling at the baby, and my heart does that totally inappropriate weird flip-flop thing again. That’s enough to bring me to my senses and get us back on the move. 

“Alright, we should probably get home before your key-lime-whatever-it-is melts.” 

“Are you talking about the tart or the dessert bar?” She asks seriously, and I can’t help but laugh. 

“Just come on! I want cake,” I say. Just like always, that’s enough to get Perrie moving. 

  
  



	2. Always been there for me, now I'll do the same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next bit, as promised!!  
Enjoy!!  
xx

We make it back home without encountering anyone else, but the little Babushka woman has planted a seed in my mind that I can’t weed out. Or perhaps she’s just nurtured a seed that’s been there a while that I’ve refused to notice. 

Despite my initial complaints about her buying half the shop, I pick at nearly every one of the desserts Perrie bought. She just smirks, a knowing smile on her face, and I make my  _ so what? _ face at her and she laughs. Parker joins in on the giggling, just happy to be around happiness, I think. I try my best, and I know she knows she’s loved, but she doesn’t have much positive energy in her life that’s not mine. And admittedly, my happiness is sometimes overshadowed by the stress of taking care of a brand new baby by myself and the unresolved feelings caused by Harry’s less than elegant exit. 

The baby starts to fuss before I can even realize I’m bringing down the mood, so I slap a smile on my face that is small, but not disingenuous. 

“You’re a perceptive little bugger, aren’t you?” Perrie says, affecting that same strange voice from earlier that is somewhere between her baby voice and her regular talking voice. 

“She is,” I offer. “She’s quite smart. The doctor says she’s advanced for her age.”

“Advanced enough for a bit of french silk pie?” Perrie asks in baby voice, already sneaking a finger coated in some sort of chocolate whip to the baby’s mouth.

“Perrie!” I panic, but it’s too late. Parker has already grabbed Perrie’s finger and is sucking on it eagerly, smacking her lips. She looks up at Perrie with wide eyes.

Perrie laughs at her response before trying her best to look contrite. “I’m sorry, Jes, I wasn’t trying to…” she trails off lamely. 

“Perrie, there’s certain stuff she can’t have,” I whine. 

“Oh, what’s the harm, Jesy? It’s just a bit of sweet,” she whines right back. “Plus, Parker loved it!”

The baby gurgles excitedly. I think she’s starting to recognize her name, even though the way Perrie says it is a bit different to the way I do. 

I want to be mad, want to tell Perrie that  _ we really have to be more careful about what she eats _ , but why should Perrie have to be careful? She’s not Parker’s parent, I am. 

“Jes, if I crossed a line, I’m really sorr-”

“Nah, it’s fine,” I say, cutting her off. “I’m just very… protective, I guess.”

“And I love that! I just, I wanted to see her cute little face when she tasted it. I tasted her formula this morning and it's like really, really gross. I’m convinced she only drinks it cause she doesn’t know any better.”

“Why did you taste the baby’s formula?” I ask her with a laugh. 

“I was just curious,” she says, trying her best to sound inconspicuous.

This prompts another round of giggles on my part, followed shortly by the happy gurgles of Parker and the laughter of Perrie. 

We pick at the desserts a bit more and then decide to save the rest for after dinner, when we’ll have another go at the feast of Indian food we ordered this afternoon. 

Parker starts to fuss, so I take her to the nursery to change her nappy, and then rock her to sleep. 

I walk into my room, intending to grab my favorite pillow so that I might get a couch nap in, and find Perrie already laying on the bed. 

“You alright?” I ask, pulling her attention from her phone to me.

“I was just hoping we could talk?” she says shyly. 

“Yeah, ‘course,” I say, nodding my head. “What’s up?”

She hesitates.

“Perrie, c’mon,” I say. “Better to just get it out there.”

“I’m worried about you,” she says.

The first thing I feel is mad, but eventually that’s eclipsed by sadness, and realization.

“I mean, you probably should be,” I say carefully. 

“You’re not mad?” she asks, surprised.

“I know it’s just ‘cos you care,” I admit. 

“I do. I care about you a lot, and I care about the baby, and-”

“I know, Pez. We’re both very grateful.” 

“Come ‘ere, you,” she says, pulling me down next to her on the bed and wrapping me in a tight hug. “I missed you.”

“I didn’t go anywhere,” I say, though I know I haven’t exactly been available. 

“I know. I just,” she starts. “I just- why’d you wait so long to call, Jes? I know these last few months can’t have been easy, and I haven’t seen you for more than an hour at a time since Parker was born. I would’ve come if you’d called.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt your life cause I couldn’t deal with my own stupid mistakes,” I say, burying my face in Perrie’s shoulder. “It wouldn’t be fair to you.”

“Jessica Nelson, you stop that right now,” she says, moving away from me so she can take my face in her hands. “You are my best friend. I love you more than I love just about anybody else in the world. It’s not about fair, it’s about you knowing that I’m here, that I  _ want  _ to be here.”

I look down, ashamed. 

“Why didn’t you call?” she asks again.

“‘Cos I didn’t want to give anyone else the chance to leave,” I whisper, a tear leaking out despite my best efforts to keep it in. “We were already going on hiatus, and so I thought that maybe a break was what we needed. Plus, Leigh was getting married, Jade had her plans to travel the world, you had Alex. I just thought that maybe it was time for me to stop relying so heavily on the three of you, you know?”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” she tells me, losing a couple tears of her own. “Alex and I broke up.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask. 

“You kind of had a lot going on,” she says with a watery laugh. “Between the baby, Harry, your mom moving away- I just, I didn’t think you’d have time to deal with my issues. Breaking up with my boyfriend seemed like such a juvenile problem when I looked at everything you were dealing with. Plus, Jes, we’d grown apart.”

I want to argue that that’s not true, but it is. It just sort of happens as you age, I guess. You just don’t have the time for your friends that you do in your early 20s. Everyone has lives, jobs, etc. I saw the girls more than most of the other people in my life, but even then, we haven’t toured in a year and a half. We’d write, see each other for bits of promo here and there, and then the last time all four of us were together was when we announced our hiatus last year. 

Each of the girls came around when the baby was born, of course, and two or so of us will get lunch from time to time, but we’re not in each other’s pockets like we used to be.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

“It wasn’t your fault. It’s just how things get, I suppose,” she says. “I was thrilled when you called.”

“Even though I was calling ‘cos I couldn’t take care of my own kid?” I ask drily. 

“You’re doing a great job with Parker,” Perrie says dismissively. “But it’s a lot to handle on your own. I don’t know how you didn’t crack up and end up in the looney bin months ago.”

“I’m not sure,” I respond. “She’s a good little thing.”

“She’s perfect, Jes,” Perrie agrees softly. “But there’s nothing wrong with needing a little help. Or just needing a friend.”

“I suppose,” I say quietly, smiling at her. “So what have you been up to? You know, since the breakup?”

“Not much,” she admits. “Lots of online shopping, a bit of drinking, lots of eatin’.” 

I laugh. “Well, if you’d rather be taking care of a baby…” 

“Actually,” Perrie says, seriously considering the idea I’d presented as a joke. 

“Perrie, you don’t- I was kidding. Mostly,” I say. 

“Yeah, I know. But- would you mind? If I stayed round here a little while? I’d be happy to help with the baby, and-”

I wrap her in a tight hug. “I’d love for you to stay. But, I don’t want you to feel pressured,” I say honestly. 

“I’m quite happy, at the minute,” she says. “Tired, but happy. I feel like I don’t have any purpose since the hiatus. I really don’t know how to do anything but sing. I didn’t mind playing housewife for a bit, but it turns out that some relationships only work ‘cause you rarely see each other. Alex and my’s relationship was one of those.”

“I’m sorry,” I say. “Least you were smart enough to not get pregnant,” I say with a harsh laugh. 

“Shut up. Things happen. I know it’s been hard, but I also know that you wouldn’t trade that little girl for anything.”

“I wouldn’t,” I say. “Even if she doesn’t look a damn thing like me.”

“She really doesn’t,” Perrie says with a smile, the seriousness of the moment broken. 

“How is that fair?” I ask. “She spent ten months living inside me! Damn kid wrecked my body. And I had to push her out of me, Perrie. I had to push a head this big out of a hole th-”

“I’ve heard enough!” Perrie says, bringing her hands to cover her ears. “Enough.” 

I can’t help but laugh. Perrie joins me shortly, her laughter trailing off as she looks at me more intently. 

“Have I got something on my face?” I ask, unsure as to why else she could be looking at me. 

“No, I’m trying to figure out how the baby looks like you. She hasn’t got your nose, or your chin, or your general face shape. Hard to tell if she’s got your cheekbones, ‘cos she just has that chubby sort of baby face right now,” she muses. “I think the old lady was right about your eyes. And Parker’s definitely got your round head.”

I groan. “The one thing I wish that child would not have inherited from me.”

“I like your round head!” Perrie says with a laugh. “It’s cute.” 

“Oh, sod off,” I say with a yawn. 

“Stop that, it’s contagiooooo,” Perrie trails off, yawning. “Can we take a nap?”

“Way ahead of ya,” I mumble, already feeling myself slipping into unconsciousness. Perrie mumbles something about getting under the blankets, so I pull up the one I keep folded at the bottom of the bed and tuck it over us. 

Perrie mumbles something else, but I just hum in reply, already too far gone. 

I wake sometime later to familiar coos sounding from the speaker of the baby monitor. I slowly disentangle myself from Perrie, the two of us having snuggled up at some point while we slept, and move off the bed with a slow stretch before making my way down the hall. Once I’ve reached the nursery, I’m greeted by happy gurgles and a little blonde baby chewing on her now-sockless feet. Her gurgles get louder once she notices I’m there, and her little feet kick out, and I’m nearly a sobbing mess from the overwhelming cuteness of it all. 

“Hiya Punkin’,” I coo, sweeping my darling daughter into my arms. She just giggles, waving her hands at me and tucking her head against my chest. “Did you have a good nap?” I ask, tracing her soft little features, answering her coos with little hums of my own. “Oh, yeah? I bet that was nice,” I say, as if she’s telling me about her dreams. She beams up at me, and even though she can’t understand my words, I know she knows she’s loved. 

“Oh, my heart,” I hear Perrie coo from the door. I look up at her with a soft smile, gently bouncing the happy baby in my arms. 

“How was your sleep?” I ask softly, as if speaking too loudly will disturb this perfect little moment. 

“It was grand until you got up, I think. I almost forgot how nice it is to not sleep alone,” she says honestly. 

I hold her gaze, knowing all too well how lonely it feels to go bed on your own. Perrie and I used to sleep in the same bed all the time when we were younger, just after our X-Factor days. Leigh and Jade were always a bit better at being by themselves, but Perrie and I needed nearly constant comfort. I can see now that the tiredness in Perrie’s eyes wasn’t the result of one long night with the baby, but of many long nights alone. 

The baby somehow lands a kick to my sternum, harder than she rightly should be able to at just over 5 months old. 

“Oh,” I groan. “Maybe you’ll be a kickboxer when you’re older.”

“Or a football player,” Perrie says, walking over to us. 

“Football is boring,” I groan. 

The baby pouts. 

“But if that’s what my baby wants, that’s what my baby will get,” I coo at her. She smiles at me, the little shit. How she already knows what buttons to press, I don’t know, but I know she’s gonna give me a run for my money. 

“Lord help you when she learns to talk,” Perrie says with a laugh.

“I’m not even ready to  _ think _ about that,” I say with a groan. 

Parker starts to fuss, which I know means she’s hungry again. I change her nappy before we go, ‘cos it’s somehow always dirty, and then give her to Perrie while I go ready a bottle. 

Perrie feeds her this time, and she sucks at the bottle lazily while the three of us sit on the couch, flicking through different things on the telly before finally landing on Peppa Pig. 

“Oh my gosh, you’re whipped,” Perrie says as I set the channel changer down. She knows how much I despise cartoons.

“I can’t tell her no about anything, even though she doesn’t know what no means,” I grumble.

“And she never will, by the looks of it,” Perrie says with a laugh. The baby just sits, slowly sucking on her bottle as she looks in turn at me, Perrie, and the TV. We quickly lose her interest, not nearly as captivating as the bubblegum pink creature oinking on the screen. 

I try to watch the show, I really do, but I just can’t focus on it. I really, really hate cartoons. 

A glance at Perrie shows she’s thoroughly engrossed, laughing along at all the right bits and looking truly pensive at the questions that are posed. 

I smile. Despite her early 20s being kind of a shitshow, Perrie retains a bit of childlike innocence somehow. She’s not as bright and bubbly as she used to be, but most of that is just part of getting older. Her smile is still sunny, and she still looks at everyday things with a wonder I’m not sure I ever had. 

I should force my thoughts of Perrie to stop there, but I can’t bring myself to. She’s kind, sweet, caring. Incredibly beautiful, which isn’t helping matters. She’s my very best friend in the whole wide world, and for just a moment, I allow myself to imagine her as more. Perrie, holding Parker’s hands as she learns to walk. Perrie, insisting we go out for ice cream after a rough first day of school. Perrie, whispering soft comforts in the dark and checking for monsters in closets. 

Perrie, kissing me in the pantry when I go to grab another can of baby formula. Perrie, scolding me as I sit on the counter and pick at the meals she makes. Perrie, sliding onto my lap as we watch a movie one night, trailing kisses up and down my jaw.

Perrie, writhing around under me as I-

The baby lets out a yell, startling me from my highly inappropriate thoughts. Nothing like the harsh cry of the best mistake you’ve ever made to jolt you back to reality. 

Perrie looks up at me, shocked that something so little could make such a big noise. 

I laugh, knowing Parker’s just wanting some attention, and crawl onto the floor so that I’m eye level with her as she sits on Perrie’s lap. 

“Now why are you being so loud, huh?” 

She yells at me again, quieter this time, but just as fervently.

“Is that right?” I ask.

She babbles at me some more, and I answer when she finishes, so she babbles again. We carry on like this for quite some time before she looks at me curiously, giving one final  _ gah _ before moving her attention from me back to the telly. 

I look up to ask Perrie a question and catch her staring at me, smile on her face. I give her a quick smile back before hopping up off the ground. Perrie pats the seat next to her, so I join her, sitting much closer than I was earlier. She presses a quick and entirely unexpected kiss to my shoulder before leaning her head against me with a sigh. 

I bring my hand up to run it through her hair, just briefly, before allowing it to fall down and settle on her thigh, where I idly trace little patterns.

We sit like this until the episode ends, utterly content. 

Not even the baby makes a sound. She just sits and enjoys the peaceful atmosphere. 

  
  


The next couple days move along easily as we find our routine. We make a quick trip to the store, grabbing only the essentials, and vow to do all the shopping we can online from now on, as our “quick 20 minute trip” turned into nearly 2 hours, 17 photo ops, and a very fussy baby. 

At the end of it all, we forgot the nutella, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Perrie more upset. 

I mean, I definitely have, but seeing her get this frustrated over something so trivial is actually sort of funny. 

I can only hide my laughter for so long, which ends in Perrie stomping away and taking the baby with her.

I continue to laugh, just happy to be happy, and throw together a little lunch while Perrie puts the baby to sleep. It’s her first go at it besides her first night here, but she does the job splendidly, returning to the kitchen less than a half an hour after she stomped away.

“Are you ready to stop being so mean?” She grumbles, coming back to the kitchen. At that exact moment, the doorbell rings, and she looks at me suspiciously. I pretend like I’ve got no clue what’s going on, and ask her to answer the doorbell as I finish up the crepes, one of about three foods I know how to make.

If eggs are not a major component, then I guarantee that I don’t know how to cook it. 

She comes back just a few moments later, tears on her face and a jar in her hand. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask, wondering how I could’ve screwed up so royally. I abandon the crepes and walk towards Perrie, worried. 

She throws her arms around me and hugs me tight, sniffling. “That was just really sweet, is all. You’re too nice to me.”

“I got five consecutive hours of sleep last night, thanks to you. I’d buy you a new car if you wanted one,” I say, holding her tight and planting little kisses to her cheek. I take about two and a half seconds to wonder if I’m being too affectionate, but quickly reach the decision that I probably can’t be too affectionate with Perrie. 

She’s the most touchy-feely person I’ve ever met. 

“You know I don’t mind,” she says, rubbing a hand across my back. 

“And I don’t mind doing nice things for you,” I say honestly. “Plus, I just pushed a couple of buttons and paid. The man at the door did all the work.”

She laughs, sniffling again. “Uh, Jes?”

“Yes, babe?” I ask.

“I think the crepe is burning.”

“Shit!” I curse, turning around to see loads of smoke coming off the pan on the stove. I run and pull it off quickly, scraping the blackish sheet of film out of the pan and into the sink. 

“Ah, that was the last one anyway,” I say, though there is definitely enough batter for at least one more. 

“Alright,” Perrie says knowingly, a naughty little smile on her face.

“Oh, stuff it,” I say with a huff, pretending to be mad. 

“I didn’t mean it,” she says with a pout, throwing a pale arm around me.

“I know,” I say with a smile, cheekily grabbing her bum and tossing her a wink. 

“Hey!” she shouts. “You did that just so you could feel me up!”

“I would never,” I say, doing my best to sound serious and sort of succeeding. 

Perrie just laughs and rolls her eyes, going to the fridge to pull out the other toppings for our crepes. 

We actually eat at the table tonight, something I haven’t done since the baby was born, and it’s nice. We chat, the two of us always having something to talk about, and run over our plans for the rest of the week. Perrie’s got it in her head that she wants to take Parker swimming, ‘cos she loved to swim when she was a baby. 

I hate swimming. I’d rather lose a toe than go for a swim, I think, but Perrie’s insistent. 

I try to bring up loads of reasons why we shouldn’t go, but annoyingly enough, Perrie has a solution to every problem I raise. 

So, we’re going swimming tomorrow, though I’m adamant that I won’t be getting in the water. Not only do I hate pools ‘cos they’re full of bacteria, but getting in the pool means I’ll need to wear a swimsuit. 

I’ve always hated the thought of getting papped in a bikini, even when I was at my skinniest and you could count my abs, but now that I’ve had a baby I’m more nervous than ever. I hate that I’m letting something as trivial as that keep me from going for a swim, but I am. The press loved to pick me to pieces before, and they’ll take even more joy in it now that I’ve got proper stretch marks. 

“Jes?” Perrie asks, touching my hand and jarring me back to reality. “Where’d you go?”

“Nowhere important,” I say, squeezing her hand in my own. “Just got distracted.”

“Alright,” she says with a tight smile. I can tell she doesn’t believe me, but I know she doesn’t want to push me either. Despite the closeness we’ve regained since Perrie answered the phone a few nights ago, we’re still not as friendly as we used to be. It makes me a little sad, but I try not to worry too much ‘cos I know we’ll get back to it.

“Have you called Leigh to ask her if we could come for a swim?” I ask, pasting on a smile.

“Yeah! She and Andre will still be at his mother’s in Wolverhampton, but she says we’re more than welcome to go over anyway. She’ll let Max know that we’re coming, we just need to buzz in,” she tells me.

I roll my eyes at the thought of Leigh Anne and her posh butler, Max, but I’m happy for the news nonetheless. At least we won’t have to go to a public pool. 

We chat a bit more about possible plans, thinking about a visit to the children’s museum in London, but don’t set anything in stone. It’s not like we have to, anyway, since we’re off work until further notice and neither Perrie or I really have much to do besides taking care of the baby. 

Parker wakes up as soon as Perrie takes out the cake, which we’ve been picking up from the dessert shop daily, so I run to get her while Perrie digs out some spoons. Parker’s happy to sit with us at the table and babble. Perrie tries to sneak her a lick or two of the frosting. Obviously this doesn’t work, as sneaking her frosting involves Perrie waving her hand in the baby’s face, which gets not only Parker’s attention but mine as well.

After three unsuccessful attempts, Perrie pouts at me. The baby mimics her facial expression, starting a pitiful cry after minutes without my concession. I finally cave, and their twin frowns turn into smiles suspiciously quickly. I know I’ve been played, but looking at their undeniably happy faces, I don’t mind so much. 

We have a bit of tummy time after that, and then just cater to Parker’s every whim until it’s time to put her to bed. 

Perrie somehow finds a burst of energy after we put her to sleep, and insists we get our bags packed and lay out our outfits for tomorrow. 

I make myself comfortable on my bed, watching as Perrie combs through the boxes full of her stuff. 

“You realize that Leigh’s house is 35 minutes west of here, right? Not a day and a half’s journey.”

“I need snacks for the car!” She insists, rooting through her things until she’s found the backpack she’s looking for. Perrie still has her apartment, as this whole arrangement is relatively new, but we brought over most of her summer stuff a day or so ago, since she’ll be living her for as long as she likes. 

I laugh, but say nothing. 

I’ve already got the diaper bag packed, full of enough formula and nappies and such for at least three days. I may have overpacked a bit, but this is Parker’s first journey more than 20 miles away from the house, except for when we brought her home from the hospital, and I want to be prepared. 

Just as I’m drifting off, I hear a knock at the door. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed part two!!  
Please let me know what you think!!  
Also, I should have a new one shot posted in the next couple days, so look for that 👀  
Come hang out on Tumblr @ 16sydd16  
Have a great week, and I'll see you in the next one!!:)  
xx  
sydd


	3. Oh, you save me in ways that I can't explain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun in the sun. Oh, and a *hint* of body dysmorphia. Do those go together? Well, today they do.   
I don't think it's enough to be triggering, but if you're super-duper sensitive to generalized body issues and a bit of negative self-talk, then maybe read carefully?  
It's extremely mild imo, but here's your warning jic. I don't wanna ruin anybody's day.   
Okay, that's it. It's mostly really cute and happy and sweet and ultimately uplifting, I promise!!  
Enjoy!!  
xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't proofread this, not even a little.   
soz.  
This week was absolutely mad.  
Hopefully you still enjoy it, mistakes and all:)

“I’ll get it!” Perrie says too quickly, running from the room and skipping down the steps. 

I hear her murmur a soft “thank you” before the door shuts and I hear quick feet on the stairs. 

Perrie appears in my line of sight again momentarily, carrying two boxes and a bag. 

“I may have bought a couple of things in preparation for tomorrow,” she says, cringing. 

“How much did you spend, Perrie?” I ask tiredly, my voice flat. 

“I don’t actually know,” she admits. “I didn’t look at the final total.”

“Perrie,” I groan. She’s the worst with money, so it’s a good thing she has a lot of it. 

“I was excited!” She says defensively. “Now, where are the scissors?”

I hand her my keys instead, as they’re closer. 

She takes them with a quick  _ thanks _ and then starts ripping into the largest box. She pulls out loads of sparkly tissue paper before pulling out the tiniest baby-pink swimsuit, complete with some sort of glittery tu-tu and little ruffles on the straps.

“Oh, my gosh,” I say, marvelling at the cuteness of it all. “It’s perfect.”

“It is!” She squeals. “I just hope it fits her. It said 3-6 months, but she’s just so little-”

“It’ll be alright, Pezza. We’ve got to fit a swim diaper on under it anyway.”

“I can’t wait to see her in it!” She says, her whole body swaying from side to side like it does when she’s happy.

I _ could _ tell Perrie that the baby might pitch a fit because the tutu looks itchy, but I don’t have the heart to burst her bubble. 

After the swimsuit, she pulls out some ridiculously sparkly jelly shoes along with a sunhat, sunglasses, a lavender towel with an elephant on the hood, a parasol, goggles, and about a million pool toys, most of which the baby is too little for, but there’s one float that is essentially a floating seat that may work. It’s even got little toys for Parker to fiddle with on a bar across the front. 

Box number two contains more practical items, like sunscreen, sun tan lotion, and sunglasses, along with some snacks that Perrie can’t wait to throw in the pool bag. 

She asks me to go grab some towels before she opens the third package, so I do. 

When I come back, she’s holding a pale blue bikini top up to her chest and standing in the mirror. 

“That’s cute,” I say, a little more harshly than I intended. I don’t want to sound bitter, but I’m still sort of upset with where my body is at the moment. It’s hard not to be a little mad at Perrie and her never-had-a-baby-body. 

“I got you one as well,” she says offhandedly, still looking at herself in the mirror. 

“Oh, I’m not putting a swimsuit on tomorrow,” I say with a scoff. 

Perrie’s eyes meet mine in the mirror. “Is this why you were upset earlier, when I mentioned going swimming?” 

“No,” I lie. “I wasn’t upset earlier. When was I upset?”

“Distracted. When you were distracted, is what I meant,” she says softly, clearly sensing she’s hit a nerve. 

“No,” I say tersely, tearing my eyes away from where they meet hers in our reflection. 

“Jesy,” she says softly, coming to sit next to me on the bed. 

I don’t acknowledge her, just keep fiddling with the rings on my hand. 

“Jes, c’mon,’’ she says, grabbing my hand so I’ll stop fiddling. “I don’t like it when you don’t tell me things.”

“Well, sometimes I don’t like to tell you things,” I say, my throat getting thick. I feel like all I’ve done since I had Parker is cry, but my emotions are always so close to the surface that it’s hard to not. Still, it’s frustrating for me to feel like I lack control. 

“You don’t have to tell me,” she says, brushing her thumbs over my knuckles, “but it might help you feel better, you know?”

I groan in frustration, knowing she’s right. 

“I just. What if someone sees me?” I ask quietly, hating how weak I sound. 

“Sees you where?” She asks, confused.

“In my swimsuit,” I mumble. 

“Are you serious?” She asks, as if she really doesn’t believe it. 

“Do I seem like I’m joking?” I ask, a little angry. 

“No, I just- that’s not what I meant,” she says quickly.

“What the hell did you mean then, Perrie?” I ask, letting my emotions get the better of me. 

“Jes, your body is  _ insane _ . You have, like, the nicest ass I’ve ever seen. And don’t even get me started on your  _ thighs _ , blimey,” she says. 

“My body went to shit when I grew another human inside of me,” I insist, though Perrie’s managed to create a little bit of doubt in my mind. I’ve always had a distorted self image, and I know that. Maybe I’m blowing things out of proportion. 

“Jesy- it, like. I’m actually sort of mad that you don’t see how lovely you are,” she says with a huff. 

“Shut up,” I say dismissively. 

“No,” she says, but then says nothing more.

I’m about to say something to the effect of  _ wow Perrie, well done with that _ when she snaps her fingers and grabs my arm, dragging me up off the bed. 

“Pez, what-”

“Get up. C’mon, let’s go!”

I groan but don’t ask anymore questions, letting her stand me up in front of the mirror. 

“Have a look,” she says, gesturing to the image of me reflected across from us. 

“Perrie-”

“Jesy, look in the bloody mirror,” she says.

Not having the energy to fight her, I listen. 

I take in my appearance, noting that I look much more rested than I have as of late. My skin is bright and clear, and I look a little more… alive. I know it has everything to do with the blonde standing slightly behind me, for whom I’m very grateful. Even if she is really pissing me off right now. 

I avoid looking at my body mostly, giving it just a quick once over and noting the stain on the pocket of my jumper. 

“Is there a point to this, or…?” I ask snarkily. 

Perrie scrunches up her face and sticks her tongue out at me in the mirror, and I have to try really hard to fight off a laugh. 

“Yes,  _ there is a point to this _ ,” she mocks. “I want you to see what you look like in reality, not in this distorted vision you’ve built in your head.”

When I don’t answer with something snappy, Perrie continues. 

“We’re going to do the little trick that Lindsey taught me for when I’m being too hard on myself.”

I bite back a groan. Lindsey is the therapist Perrie started seeing when her anxiety got bad a couple years back, and I know this little trick well. Perrie loves it, but I could never really get into it. I don’t know why I’m so resistant to therapy, but I am. It all seems a bit too… hokey for me. Regardless, I know Perrie will badger me until I do what she’s asked, so I decide to just suck it up and take it.

“Now, what do you see in your reflection? We’re only listing positive things,” she reminds me. In her Geordie accent, she misses every t.  _ Pos-ih-ihve. _

“I see you. You’re a good thing, even if I’m wishing you were downstairs shoveling cake into your mouth instead of up here badgering me,” I say, scrunching my face up at her. 

She scrunches right back, but wraps her arms around me nonetheless. 

“We’re talking about you,” she says. “But thank you. I think.”

I shoot her a smile. “You’re welcome.” I pause. “I think I look less tired.”

“That’s good. D’you feel less tired?” She asks, still hanging on me. Her chin sits on my shoulder, her arms slung around my waist. 

“Yeah, I do,” I tell her. “Getting up with Parker every couple hours was really taking its toll. You know it takes me a while to get to sleep.”

“I do,” she says, a smile flitting across her face. “Alright, something else.”

“My hair looks better than it has. I don’t mind it being brown so much anymore.”

“Your hair is lovely,” she says. “I like it lots like this, all natural and curly.”

“Thanks,” I say, squeezing her hands where they join around me. 

She smiles. “Don’t mention it. Alright, something else.”

“My skin is clear,” I say. “Well, mostly.”

“Mostly is the best we can ask for, babe,” she says. “Okay, next.”

I mention all I can think to mention on my face, but eventually, I have to bring my focus lower. 

“My shoulders look… strong?” I say, sort of like a question.

“They definitely do. Must be all that baby-lifting you’ve been doing.”

“Must be,” I say with a smile. “You’d think maybe my arms would be toned.”

“That wasn’t positive!” Perrie yells with a point at the mirror, calling me out. “Plus, how can you even tell? You can’t see anything under this baggy sweatshirt.”

I peel the sweatshirt off. 

“You’d think my arms would be more toned,” I say flatly. “Happy now?”

“That still wasn’t positive,” she says matter-of-factly. “Flex.”

“Perrie,” I groan. 

“ _ Flex _ ,” she says through gritted teeth. 

I oblige, if only to shut her up. 

I’m definitely not as toned as I was before Parker, but I don’t look… bad. I just also don’t look great. 

I’m a solid okay. 

Perrie tries to get me to offer some more compliments to my reflection, but I’m having none of it. I think I’m done for the night, and I tell her as much. 

“I could go on for hours,” she says, almost threateningly, and the scary thing is that I believe her. 

“How do I make it stop?” I groan. 

“Try on a swimsuit and say something nice and I’ll let you go,” she says. 

“That’s not happening,” I scoff. 

“Guess we’ll stay here then,” she says with a sigh. 

“Ugh, you’re insufferable!” I yell, storming into the bathroom.

“Green or black?” she calls after me.

“Do you really need to ask that question?” I ask. “You know black is my favorite color.”

“Yeah, but you look really pretty in green,” she whines. 

“Just give it to me, Perrie,” I say. 

A black two-piece hits the floor in front of me, followed quickly by an army green one piece. 

“Pick one. Then come show me,” she says. 

I quickly shut the bathroom door, and take a good look at both suits.

The two piece is solid black, and high waisted. It’s kinda boring, but a quick glance at the tag shows that it’s also kinda expensive, so I give it a chance. 

I don’t look bad in it, but I don’t look great, either.

I quickly take it off, hoping to have better luck with the green one. 

“We need to have a talk about your spending habits,” I call through the door once I notice the tag on this one. 

“Later,” is all Perrie says, and even though I can’t see her, I know she’s waving her hand at me dismissively. 

Once I get the green one on, I realize that I don’t mind it as much as the black. It’s a little low cut in the front, but has good support, so I don’t care so much. There are a couple cutouts that I’d rather not have, but they’re alright cause they’re covered in a sort of mesh, so at least I don’t feel totally exposed. Overall, the swimsuit is cute. My tummy does stick out a bit, especially when I slouch, but it really doesn’t look that awful. 

“I’m coming out,” I announce through the door, if only to delay my coming out a bit more. 

“Woo!” Perrie cheers, and I laugh quietly before opening the door.

I come out with my eyes shut, as if that’ll somehow make it better. Everything seems less scary when you can’t see it coming. 

Perrie wolf whistles as I walk out, and I just shake my head, opening my eyes to glare at her. 

“Stop it right now,” I say, embarrassed at the little flush that finds its way to my cheeks.

“ _ You _ stop it right now! I’m proper hot and bothered,” she says, fanning herself. 

“Sod off,” I say, but I can’t help but laugh a bit. 

“How are you this sexy?” She asks, hopping off the bed to come and stand next to me in the mirror. 

I just shake my head, not bothering to answer her question. 

“Damn, your ass is nice,” she says, and I can see in the mirror that her eyes are glued to my butt. 

“Hey, my eyes are up here,” I tease drily. 

“And they’re captivating, love, really,” she says, meeting my gaze. “But I haven’t properly finished yet, so if you don’t mind,” she says, eyes trailing back down my body. 

I bark out a laugh, unable to do much else. I’m a little uncomfortable, but not at all for the reasons I thought I would be. I don’t dwell on that for too long, though, ‘cos I don’t want to make things awkward between Pez and I. 

“Are you quite done?” I ask, pretending to be annoyed. 

“Looking at your bum? For now,” she says, “but with your thighs? Never.”

“Perrie!” I say, giggle despite my best efforts. “Can we please get this over with?” 

“Alright,  _ fine _ ,” she groans. “But I want to be allowed to gawk all I’d like tomorrow, please.”

“Whatever,” I say, a hint of a smile still playing at my lips. 

Perrie grins. “That’s not a no!”

I just roll my eyes. 

“Okay, okay. Say something nice,” she says, eyes meeting mine in the mirror. 

“I think this color looks nice on me,” I offer. 

“Oh, come on! That’s a cop out,” Perrie says. “Something else.”

“I don’t look… bad,” I say softly. 

“You’re gorgeous, Jes. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” she says sincerely. 

I meet her eyes in the mirror, and though I’m only seeing Perrie’s shiny reflection, it’s all a bit too much. So I look away. 

“And I look in the mirror every day,” she adds, clearly joking. 

I laugh. I want to say something about how pretty Perrie is, but I’m just too nervous. The fact that I’m nervous scares me more than my actual nervousness, I think, because I’m hardly ever nervous in relationships. Especially with flirting. I’m an excellent flirt. It’s something I pride myself on. 

Perrie and I aren’t even really anything more than friends, and I’m still  _ this  _ nervous. 

I’m in trouble. 

I tell myself I’ve just lost my edge, ‘cos I haven’t even attempted to flirt in months, much less actually been interested in someone. 

“Okay, how about something el-”

“Nice try, Edwards. You’re already on borrowed time. I’m finished for the night,” I say, needing a bit of distance. 

“Fair enough,” she says, backing away. “You go change into your PJ’s and I’ll go check on the munchkin before we go to sleep.”

I just nod and whisper a soft “okay,” grabbing a long T-shirt and heading into the bathroom.

When I catch my reflection in the mirror this time, I look happy.  _ Stupid _ happy. 

I’m screwed. 

I try and finish my bedtime routine quickly and without thinking too much, mentally running through everything I packed for Parker tomorrow and deciding I better add an extra pacifier to the bag. 

Perrie’s sitting on the bed when I exit, having donned a long t-shirt of her own. 

“Baby P is still sleeping soundly,” she says, smiling up at me. 

“Good,” I say. “Thanks for checking on her, Pezza.”

“Happy to,” she says, and I know she means it. “You gonna go check anyway?”

“You know I can’t sleep if I don’t,” I say with a shrug. 

“Yeah, I know. Give her an extra forehead kiss for me, I’ll keep the bed warm.”

I just nod and head to the baby’s room. 

_ I’ll keep the bed warm. _

She’s gonna be the death of me. 

I tell Parker as much in between whispers of  _ goodnight, little love _ and  _ sweet dreams, angel baby.  _ I plant two especially soft kisses to her forehead, whispering one last  _ I love you _ as I exit her room. 

Perrie’s got the blankets half folded down when I return, patting the bed beside her as soon as I come into her line of sight. 

“Hi,” I say, sitting on the side of the bed opposite to her. 

“Hello,” she says, looking at me curiously before stretching across the space I put between us to lay her head in my lap. “Jes, are we alright?”

“Yeah,” I answer confidently, running my fingers through her hair. “At least, I think so.”

“Then why do you keep looking at me like you’re afraid of me?” She asks, sounding a little wounded.

“You make me nervous,” I say softly. 

“Is it cause I made you do the mirror thing tonight? I’m sorry if I pushed too far.”

“No, it’s not that, Pezza. You gave me a bit of a push tonight, which is what I needed,” I say honestly.

“What is it, then? What am I doing wrong?” she asks, masking her obvious hurt with a laugh.

“Not a thing, babe,” I assure her, tucking her hair behind her ears. “It’s almost that you’re doing things too right,” I mumble. 

She looks at me quizzically, but I start speaking again before she can ask exactly what that means. 

“It’s just. I get sorta nervous when you say sweet things, when you touch me. I haven’t- no one’s done that for quite some time, and I don’t exactly know how to react. I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush sometimes when you speak to me, or when you wrap your arms around me. You make me really happy, Pezza, but also really nervous, all for the same reasons. Everything is just a bit jumbled up in my head right now, and I don’t want to scare you away with my messiness.”

“You couldn’t scare me away, I don’t think. I am not afraid of you,” she says with a smile. 

I laugh softly. Perrie sees right through everything I do, all the toughness and brashness I put on. She always has. She knows I’m a marshmallow person, that I love far more than I hate, and that I’m a sucker for anything sweet or cute or bright or bubbly. I can still put the fear in Leigh sometimes, or Jade, or even my sister. Not Perrie, though. Never Perrie. 

“I know,” I say. 

“Good,” she says. “Now, c’mere. I’m cold and I’m missing my little spoon.”

I laugh, because of the two of us, I’m pretty sure I’m taller, but I don’t mind. I love being held, feeling safe. Especially after so many months of uncertainty. Even though I have no idea what this whole thing with Perrie is, where it’s going, or even how long it will last, I feel the most at peace that I have in 2 years. 

I wake up much like I fell asleep, wrapped up between pale arms and with a stubbly leg tucked between my own. 

Soft cries echo sporadically, and I know that means that Parker is hungry. 

I try to wiggle my way out of Perrie’s arms without waking her up, but she’s having none of it. 

“Noooooo,” she whines, wrapping her arms tighter around me. “Don’t go.”

“The baby needs me, Pezza,” I say softly, trying to move again. 

“But I need you too,” she says, holding her grip.

“Perrie,” I say with a little laugh. 

She finally releases her hold, but not without a pout. “Come back.”

“I will, I promise,” I say, and then get up to feed Parker. 

She eats just fine, but then afterwards, she wants to play. I know it’s my own fault ‘cos I let her sleep so much during the day, but it’s 4:30am, and I just want to go back to sleep.

She whines when I put her in her crib, so I quickly lift her back out, and start to rock her. 

Still, she’s not happy, so I bounce her around a bit, humming gentle “shhs” here and there. 

It works for a minute, but she’s angry again soon enough. 

So, I try and sing her a lullaby. My voice isn’t really suited for a lullaby, but the baby doesn’t mind, quieting once I begin to sing. 

I’m not sure how long I sing, or how many songs we get through, but after what seems like hours, the baby is finally back to sleep. I lay her in her crib with a soft kiss on the cheek, and then turn to return to my own bed, my body heavy with sleep. 

“Motherf-” I start when I notice the shadow in the doorway. Once I notice the shadow’s glassy blue eyes, I relax. “Pezza, you scared me,” I say.

She doesn’t answer at first, just lazily wraps her arms around me, letting me lean against her.

“I’m sorry I scared you. I heard you singing to the baby and… I just had to come in here. Can’t explain it,” she says softly. “I forgot how pretty your voice is, even when you’re not tryin’. It’s been too long since I heard it.”

I hum in response, too tired to properly get out a sentence, and just revel in our closeness. 

We stay like this for a minute, until I’m so far gone that I’m nearly asleep on my feet. Perrie leads me back to our room slowly, tucking me in on my side of the bed before quickly hopping onto her own. 

I reach for her as soon as she’s laid down, and she embraces me eagerly, kissing dangerously close to the corner of my mouth. 

I hum my approval, too tired to even really tell what’s going on, and allow myself to drift off, utterly content in Perrie’s arms. 

She’s gone when I wake the next time.

But, she’s not gone far. I can smell something delicious wafting up from the kitchen, along with happy baby babbles.

“Good morning,” I say sweetly after I descend the stairs, my eyes landing on the baby.

“M-mm,” she grunts at me, a smile on her face. “Mm.” 

“Is that so?” I ask, giving her little round head a kiss and pretending to be scandalized by what she’s just told me, before making my way over to Perrie, wrapping my arms loosely around her while she fiddles with something is a saucepan. 

“G’morning,” I murmur, planting a soft kiss on the side of her head, near her ear. 

“Morning,” she says a little nervously, a thin smile stretched across her face. 

“Are you alright?” I ask, ducking my head back a bit to get a better look at her.

“I’m fine, Jes. Really,” she says convincingly, gifting me with a bright smile. “Just still a bit sleepy.”

“Alright,” I say, though I don’t really believe that’s all. “Are you ready for today?”

“Oh, I’m ready,” she says with a grin. “The question is, are you ready?”

“To watch you two through the window in Leigh’s kitchen while I drink one of Andre’s secret freezer beers? Absolutely,” I say with a grin. 

“No, you have to come swim with us!” She says with a pout. 

“I don’t like swimming, Perrie.”

“Yeah, but what if Parker likes swimming? Are you gonna deprive yourself of seeing her cute little baby-face up-close and personal as she has her first swim?” She asks, laying it on thick. 

“I’ll come out for the first bit, and stand near the pool. Then you and your tiny best buddy can have it all to yourselves,” I say.

“We don’t want it all to ourselves!” Perrie says, scooping the pancake onto a plate full of them and turning off the stove. “Do we, baby P?”

We both turn to look at the baby where she’s sat in her high chair and she squeals at us happily before grunting some more. “Mmm. Mm!” 

“Well, there you have it!” Perrie says. 

“Have what?” I ask with a smile.

“Parker’s plea for you to come swim with us! I clearly heard, “Mammy, please swim. Also, stop antagonizing Auntie Perrie. She can’t take it.’”

I laugh loudly. “Wow, your ear is even better than I thought,” I say, and she nods. “Also, why does my baby sound so Geordie?”

“Shut up,” she says, shrugging me off from where I’m still wrapped around her.

“At least think about it, okay? It could be fun for all of us.”

_ I hate swimming _ , I want to remind her, but instead I nod my head. 

“Alright, I’ll think about it.”

“Good,” she says, pinching my cheeks. “Now, pancakes?”

We finish breakfast fairly quickly, and then grab our numerous bags and head to the car. Perrie still doesn’t drive, but I learned before I had the baby, ‘cos it just seemed like something I needed to know how to do. Part of becoming an actual grown-up, or something. 

We chat on the way to Leigh’s about everything and nothing, Parker occasionally joining our babbling from her spot in the backseat, and before I know it we’re pulling up to Leigh’s grand estate, pressing the call button and entering once Max has confirmed it’s us. 

Perrie wastes no time getting changed into her swimsuit, and somehow talks me into throwing mine on as well, though I put my clothes back on over it. 

She’s trying to wrestle a swim diaper onto Parker when I exit the bathroom. Parker’s wriggling all around, laughing her head off at Perrie’s struggle, and Perrie’s got her tongue trapped in between her teeth, clearly trying very hard to complete the task at hand. 

I laugh silently and let her struggle a bit more before sinking down onto the ground beside her. 

“Let me,” I say with a smile, and she throws her hands up. “Okay Punkin’, hold still.”

The baby does not listen, but still, I get the diaper on relatively easily. 

“How’d you do that?” Perrie asks, sounding like she almost can’t believe it. 

“Lot’s of practice,” I say with an easy grin. “Now, where’s her swimsuit?”

It takes us a solid 15 minutes to get the swimsuit on the baby and sunscreen her properly. Perrie slides on the jelly shoes she bought for her last night, but Parker’s having none of it, and repeatedly kicks them off before Perrie can get the buckles fastened.

“We can put them on her later, while she’s asleep, and take a picture then,” I say quietly, knowing that the photo op is the primary reason Perrie’s trying so hard to get Parker in her shoes.

“Alright,” she says with a huff. “Can we go swimming now?”

I nod my head, Parker propped in one arm and the swim bag in the other, and follow Perrie outside. 

Leigh’s pool is quite nice and looks unbelievably clean, but I’m still much happier to just sit on the sidelines. 

Perrie enters the pool first, pleased with it’s evidently warm temperature, and dunks herself under the water a couple of times in order to fully acclimate.

“Okay, I’m ready for the baby,” she says, stretching her hands out and coming over to the edge of the pool. 

I try to hand Parker in to her, but she’s clinging to me. I pull her away a bit more forcefully and she nearly takes my T-shirt with her, squealing and carrying on. 

“What’s the trouble, bubble?” I ask her, pressing soft kisses to her little head. She keeps her head buried in my shoulder, and keeps me tight in her grip. 

“I don’t think she’s really into this, Pezza,” I say, stroking the baby’s back. 

“She’ll have to get in if you do,” Perrie says, as if that’s the perfect solution. 

“Perrie-”

“Please, Jes? You can get out as soon as she warms up,” she says.

I think about it for a few moments, wondering what I’m actually afraid of. 

I’m averse to the idea of swimming, but what could be the worst possible outcome of hopping in the pool today? We’re the only ones here, and Leigh’s estate has a 12 foot high fence around the property, so it’s not like someone’s going to sneak in. Makes it hard for paps to catch a photo as well. It is Leigh’s private pool, so germs aren’t really a concern. I put on a swimsuit last night, and while I didn’t exactly enjoy it, I also didn’t immediately burst into tears, so I know I’ll survive being a little exposed again. Really, what am I so afraid of?

Perrie looks at me, a hopeful smile on her face, and I think about all the stuff she’s done for me over the last week or so. She’s moved in to my house to help me raise my baby, for Heaven’s sake. I can do this one thing for her. 

“Alright,” I groan, earning me wide eyed looks from both Perrie and the baby. 

“Really?” Perrie asks, looking elated. 

I immediately regret not agreeing sooner, seeing how happy it’s made her. 

Parker just looks a bit confused, because she typically only hears my happy baby voice. 

“Can you hop out of the pool a minute and hold Parker while I take my clothes off? I don’t think she’ll let you hold her in the water.”

“Ow ow, take it off!” Perrie yells. 

I stare at her, dead eyed and playing at being unamused. 

“Just come get the baby, please,” I say flatly.

Perrie nods, shooting me cheeky wink and a grin before making her way to the ladder. She squeezes some of the water out of her hair before flipping it over her shoulder, gracefully exiting the pool. 

Parker is much more willing to go to Perrie now that she’s no longer in the water, and happily snuggles up against Perrie’s shoulder when I hand her off. 

I shuck my clothes quickly, throwing them into the pool bag before I reach for Parker. Perrie gives her back easily, and then walks into the water. 

I start toward the steps slowly, Parker clinging on for dear life once she sees where we’re going. 

“It’s alright, baby,” I coo, letting the water wash over my feet, then up to my knees, my thighs, and finally, my hips.

Parker’s no longer whimpering, just looking at the water below her curiously, and I prop her a little lower on my waist so that her toes touch the water. 

Her forehead crinkles, and she kicks at it a minute, unsure, before one big kick splashes water all over Perrie.

Parker laughs, kicking more eagerly now, so I walk a bit further into the water, until her chubby little legs are submerged. 

She holds firmly to me, but lets her legs kick about. She seems a bit worried when Perrie disappears under the water, but she laughs loudly when she reappears seconds later, right in front of us. 

Perrie sticks her arms out and Parker obliges, grabbing on to Perrie as I hand her over. 

I could get out, prove my point, but this seems like much more fun. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3✔️  
I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far!!   
Let me know what you think!!✨  
Have a great day, and come say hi on Tumblr!! 16sydd16  
Also, is anyone bopping to the new TSwift album?? I'm loving Lover. Especially Cruel Summer, Soon You'll Get Better, and the title track (Lover). We'll see which one my fav is in a couple days lol.   
Okay, that's it🌈


	4. When the seasons change, and the sun shines on your face, yeah, I'll be there with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of swimming, some not-so-secret freezer beer, and a long awaited item discovered in the pantry😉

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, these chapter titles just keep getting longer and longer:/  
Enjoy!!  
xx

Perrie’s got Parker held in front of her now, and drags her through the water, making motorboat noises and dipping her head down to blow bubbles in the water and make the baby laugh. She seems to be having a great time, and I’m perfectly content to watch. 

Perrie tries to get Parker to swim to me, but Parker refuses to be transferred back into my arms until she can reach out and grab me fully. 

She’s a smart little thing, and I smile. I walk her about the pool a bit, following a beach ball that she eagerly pushes around, until she becomes restless. Perrie’s put those lungs of hers to good use and blown up Parker’s floatie by this point, so I put her legs through the little holes and leave her to sit, see how she likes it. She immediately starts fiddling with the little plastic toys that are displayed in a bar across the front, clapping her hands together every now and again. 

Perrie, who had gotten out to blow up the floatie, cannonballs back into the pool, splashing me. 

Parker claps her hands, enjoying the spray, while I glare at Perrie, sputtering. 

She shoots me a wink, knowing that she’s only safe because I have a baby to tend to, and I shake my head at her. 

“Later,” I say lowly, and she has the good sense to pretend to be a bit frightened. 

“Oi, who let these commoners into my pool?” A manly voice booms. 

I look up to see Leigh and Andre, holding hands as they loom over the shallowest part of the pool, looking every bit the Lord and Lady of the manor.

“Leigh!” Perrie beams, immediately diving under the water and surfacing at Leigh’s feet. I take the slower approach, tugging Parker’s floatie along with me. She’s happy to move, gurgling and laughing as we make our way over to Perrie. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” Leigh coos, waving at Parker. Parker sticks her hand up and opens and closes her fist slowly, causing a chorus of  _ Awwww _ ’s from the four of us. 

“Are you saying hi to Auntie Leigh?” I ask her, and she babbles happily. 

“Oh, my heart,” Leigh says, looking near the verge of tears. “Give us two seconds, Andre and I will change and then I want to hold her.”

“I’m changed,” Andre says, peeling off his shirt and racing into the water. “Now, give me the baby!” 

“Not fair!” Leigh squeals. “I’ll be right back.”

She runs back into the house, leaving the three of us to chat and play with the baby. 

Parker warms to Andre easily, immediately nuzzling into him and laying her head on his chest. 

“Hello, Love,” he whispers. She turns her head toward him and smiles before hiding her face in his chest again. 

“Yep, definitely your kid,” Perrie says with a laugh. “Already has smooth moves, and she can’t even talk yet.” 

We all laugh, and I drift a bit closer to Perrie. “‘Fraid I’ve lost my game,” I say softly. “I think being a mummy has turned me all awkward.”

“Nonsense,” Andre says absentmindedly, stroking a giant hand up and down my tiny baby’s back. 

“He’s right,” Leigh says, striding into the pool. “I think you’ve gotten hotter.”

“You can all sod off,” I say flicking some water at Perrie.

“Hey! I didn’t even say anything yet!” she says defensively. 

“No, but I could tell you were next,” I say haughtily. 

Perrie shakes her head at me, naughty gleam in her eye, before she quickly darts under the water and grabs my leg, pulling me under with her. 

I’m sputtering when I surface, blinking away the water as I locate Perrie. 

“Oh, it’s on, Edwards!” I say, quickly ducking under the water myself. I hear Perrie squeal as I narrowly miss her foot. I surface again, formulating my plan of attack. Perrie is the better swimmer, but I’m smarter in these sorts of situations. 

I watch her swim away, and notice that she never goes more than three strokes without coming up for a breath. She’s only a few strokes away from me now, so I take a big breath and start swimming towards her, fast as I can, trying to go as long as possible without breathing. 

I catch her easily this time, pulling her to me and dunking her under the water. 

We continue to tease one another like this until we’re at the opposite end of the pool, in the deepest part, where she corners me. 

“Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide,” she says, smiling. 

She’s backing me into the corner and I let her, waiting until she gets close enough for me to set up my little trick. 

I can tell she’s a bit suspicious that I’m letting her trap me so easily, but it’s all part of my plan. 

“Oh no, what ever will I do?” I say in my most dramatic voice. 

She continues to get closer, and I let her, even wrapping my arms around her waist as she approaches. 

She looks down at my hands and up at me, clearly confused. If I try to dunk her in this position, there’s no way I’m not getting dunked as well. I know that, she knows that. 

“What are you playing at, Jes?” she asks, getting impossibly closer. 

“This,” I whisper, leaning in and slowly twisting us around, doing my best to switch our positions so that she’s the one backed into the corner. 

Just as our lips are about to touch, I dunk her under and duck back, trying my best to get away as fast as I can. It doesn’t work exactly as I planned, but Perrie is a little stunned, and I manage to get a couple strokes away before she catches me. 

When she dunks me, I drag her under with me, and the two of us resurface together, tangled up and laughing. 

I want to wrap my legs around her waist and kiss her silly, but I refrain. I can’t explain my feelings to myself, much less Perrie, Leigh, and Andre. 

I settle for a peck on the cheek before I move away, starting my swim back to the shallow end, where Leigh and Andre are with the baby. 

Leigh looks at me questioningly when we get back, and Andre looks… interested. In what, I’m not sure, but he’s currently wearing what Leigh-Anne lovingly refers to as his “thinking face.” 

He’s still got the baby cradled against his chest, where she seems to be dozing. 

They’ve only been in the pool maybe 15 minutes, but Leigh announces that she’s tired from their journey and asks if we’d like to sit and chat while the baby sleeps. 

We agree, of course, happy to have the time to talk, and quickly settle on the chairs near the pool, each of us wrapped in a towel. 

Leigh offers to get us drinks, and I look to Andre. He gives me a solid nod, knowing what I want. 

“That’s alright, babe. You catch up with your girls, I’ll go grab the drinks. Jes, I know you want some soda, but Perrie, what’ll you have?”

“Whatever Leigh’s having is perfect. Thank you, Andre,” she says with a smile. 

“No problem,” he says, flashing Leigh a toothy grin and giving her a wink. “Do you want the baby while I’m gone?”

“Please?” Leigh whines, stretching out her arms. 

With a softness I didn’t know he possessed, Andre easily lifts Parker from where she’s laid on his chest, careful not to disturb her sleep, and places her in Leigh’s arms. Leigh quickly gathers her up, holding her like the precious little angel she is, and lets Parker settle comfortably on her sun-warmed skin. 

“She really is precious, Jes,” Leigh says, stroking her soft blonde curls. 

“Thanks, babe,” I say, smiling at her. “I think so too.”

We sit silently for a minute, just watching Leigh holding my baby, and I think about how differently I thought my life would turn out 10, 5, even 3 years ago. 

“I always figured you’d be the first of us to have a kid,” I tell Perrie.

“Me?” She asks. “Why me?”

“I thought so too,” Leigh admits. “You’re just loving, bubbly.”

I nod my head. “You were also notoriously bad at remembering to take your birth control when we were younger,” I remind her.

“That too,” Leigh agrees, and I laugh. 

Perrie tries to look mad at us, but we all know it’s true. 

“Whatever,” she says with a shake of the head. “Regardless, I think I’ll be the last one of us to have a baby.”

“Why do you say that? Jade’s got no plans to pop one out anytime soon, far as I know,” Leigh says. 

“I’m not sure,” Perrie says. “I just have this feeling.”

Before any of us can say anything else, Andre arrives, somehow balancing four different glasses in his hands. 

Leigh and Pez are drinking some sort of white in clear, classic wine goblets. Andre’s put both his drink and mine in these frosty gray glasses, so it’s harder to tell exactly what we’re drinking. 

I give him a grateful nod and take a sip as soon as he hands me my glass, letting the familiar taste of Heineken fill my mouth. 

I don’t care for beer all that much, but I hate wine, and I have a baby- I can’t be drinking hard liquor, especially in the middle of the day- so secret freezer beer will suffice.

When Leigh is distracted answering a question Andre asked about their weekend plans, Perrie nudges me. 

“Is that Andre’s “secret” freezer beer?” She asks, hinting that it may not be so secret as he thinks.

“Yeah,” I say. “He always takes pity on me when I come over.”

“Nice of him,” she says with a smile. 

“Uh, Jesy?” Andre says, getting my attention.

“Yeah?” I ask, noticing for the first time how close my face is to Perrie’s, how we must look to Leigh and Andre.

I lean back a bit. 

“Well, I was wondering if maybe Leigh and I could take the baby for a bit?” He says shyly, bringing a hand up to rub at the back of his neck. 

“Like, if you could babysit her?” I ask, finding his nervousness sort of cute. 

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “She’s just cute, ‘s’all, and I haven’t really spent that much time around babies and yours seems to like me, so.”

“I mean, I’m not gonna say no to free childcare,” I say with a wink. “I need to go get my hair cut anyway, maybe you and Leigh could take her for the day then? I’ll make sure her bag is packed with all she needs.”

“Yeah. I’d like that,” he says, happy.

“Eeeeeee!” Leigh squeals. “I can’t wait. Does she like dogs?”

“Not your dog,” I say, taking on a Yorkshire accent and scowling at her.

“Hey! My dog is sweet,” Leigh says with a whine. 

“Your dog is grumpy,” Perrie says with a laugh, “especially around Jesy!”

“Parker will probably like him,” I say drily. “She’s more charming than me. Also, she always seems to side with Perrie when Pez and I disagree, the little antagonist, so she’ll probably favor your little rat, just ‘cos I don’t like him.”

“Hey! We talked about you not calling him that anymore,” Leigh whines.

“Geez, okay, I’m sorry!” I say when I look around for support and am instead met with twin glares from Andre and Pez. “I’m sorry, Leigh. Old habits.”

“It’s alright,” she says. “Just try not to do it again.”

I nod my agreement, and then we talk about what day works for Leigh and Andre to look after Parker. 

We decide on Wednesday, and I text Aaron, who immediately responds that  _ of course I have an opening for you, you big idiot. I’ll cancel my whole day xx _

We chat a bit more, until the baby wakes up. I send Pez in the house to grab the diaper bag so we can feed her while I take her back from Leigh, who looks a little terrified by the now-upset baby. 

“Hiya, Punkin’,” I say softly, settling her against my chest. “Did you have a nice sleep? I know you’re hungry, Auntie Pezza will be here with your food in just a second,” I promise, the baby easily soothed by my tone. 

“Hi Angel,” Perrie says, greeting the baby over my shoulder. Parker buzzes her lips at Perrie, reaching a hand up to acknowledge that she’s there. “Let me get this mixed real quick, alright?” Perrie says, already scooping powder into a water-filled bottle. “Just a minute more, Peanut.”

Perrie hands me the bottle as soon as she’s finished shaking it. I guide it to Parker’s mouth immediately and she eagerly takes it, closing her eyes and sucking hard. 

“Thank you, Pezza,” I murmur quietly, meeting her eyes briefly and giving her a smile. 

“Of course,” she says back softly, giving the hand she must’ve laid on my shoulder at some point a squeeze. 

“Well, you two are just a well oiled machine, aren’t ya?” Leigh says with a hint of a smile, looking at us funnily. “That was pretty impressive.”

“Well, we do this, what, 6 times a day, or something like that?” Perrie asks, giving me a smile. “I like to think we’ve gotten good.”

We definitely have. Feeding Parker is half the event it was before Perrie started staying at mine, and I’m grateful. She’s only been round about a week, but I can’t imagine doing this without her now. 

“We?” Leigh asks. She doesn’t sound judgemental, just curious. “Perrie, you’re over at Jesy’s a lot then?”

“I’m actually staying with her,” Perrie says, and I can’t help but smile at how happy she sounds. 

“Since when?” Leigh asks, surprised. 

“Last week?” Perrie says with a scrunch of the nose, as if she’s trying to remember.

“We’ve fallen into routine quickly,” I add, smiling up at her. 

“Seems like it,” Leigh-Anne says conspiratorially, glancing at Andre. 

Before I can ask her what she’s on about, she says she’s in need of a snack, and asks Perrie to come help her prepare one. 

Perrie obliges, of course, and follows Leigh into the main house, leaving Andre and I to chat by the pool. 

“She really is beautiful, Jesy,” Andre says, looking lovingly at the little angel in my arms. With the look on his face, I wouldn’t be surprised if Leigh-Anne ended up pregnant in 6 months time.

“Thank you, Andre,” I say, gazing down at the perfect little being who’s staring up at me. “Do you want to try and feed her?”

“Ah, best not,” he says, though he looks like he wants to. “Wouldn’t want to mess it up.”

“You won’t,” I say with a smile. “Parker’s a very easy baby to feed, mostly because she loves to eat. Don’t you, Love?” I coo, smiling down at her. 

She looks at me a moment, then returns all of her focus to eating, and I snort. 

“See what I mean? C’mon, I’ll give her to you,” I say, standing up to give the baby to him. 

Parker doesn’t much care that we’re moving, still too preoccupied with eating, and hardly even notices when I transfer her from my arms to Andre. 

“She really likes her food, huh?” Andre asks, smiling at the baby, who is still sucking away. 

“She does. It’s genetic, I think,” I say with a laugh. “Or environmental. Perrie and I get cake from the same place every day. I feel like I’ve put on at least 5 pounds since she moved in.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, having a baby really suits you,” he says. “Or having Perrie around, one of the two.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, wondering at his cheeky smile.

“I’ll let you know when Leigh-Anne tells me,” he says with a laugh. “She’s got a whole theory about the two of you she’s working on, I think.”

“Oh, Leigh-Anne and her theories,” I sigh, but internally I’m a bit excited. I know I’ve got feelings for Perrie, but are they really that easy for other people to see? 

I decide to drop it for now, knowing I’ll be better off trying to get Leigh’s theory from her directly than from Andre. He’s good at keeping secrets, and she’s laughably bad.

Andre and I sit in comfortable silence for a bit, him studying the baby and me thinking, when all of a sudden the sucking noise changes.

I know it’s cause Parker’s devoured her bottle, but Andre seems to think something’s terribly wrong. 

“Is she alright?” He asks, looking worried.

“She’s fine,” I say with a laugh, hopping out of my chair for a moment to snatch her bottle from her. “She’s a greedily little thing, but she’s fine. I think swimming’s just made her more hungry than usual. I’ll whip her up another couple ounces real quick, and then you can have a go at burping her.”

“Okay,” he says, looking a little unsure but also relieved. “Is the bottle all she can eat?”

“Well, it’s all she’s really supposed to eat, but a certain someone likes to sneak her little bits of desserts,” I say drily. 

“She asks for them!” Perrie says with a pout, settling something on the table as she and Leigh-Anne return to their seats.

“She can’t talk!” I remind Perrie with a laugh.

“She asks with her eyes,” Perrie says matter-of-factly, and I can’t help but laugh again. 

Parker starts to fuss a bit at my slow bottle-making, so I quickly finish and hand it to Andre, who helps her guide it to her mouth. 

Not that she needs much help. She’s very good at eating. 

Perrie leans on my chair after I’ve settled from handing the bottle to Andre, resting her head on my shoulder. 

I take her hand in mine loosely, happy to have the contact. She presses a soft kiss to my shoulder before going back to leaning against me, closing her eyes. 

I must look at her a little too long, ‘cos Leigh clears her throat before she asks me a question about how often they should feed Parker when they watch her.

I give Leigh a quick rundown of her daily schedule, which she types into her phone, and the four of us eat and chat until Andre burps the baby and she throws up on his shoulder. 

Leigh looks a little green but Andre handles it well, calmly asking what he should do. 

Perrie volunteers to take them inside and help him clean up, having become an expert on spit up this last week. Andre goes readily and Parker goes with him, just happy to be in the arms of a well muscled man, I think. 

I’m in so much trouble when she gets older, I can already tell. 

“I think my daughter’s trying to steal your husband,” I tell Leigh with a laugh.

“Ah, that’s all right. She’s got my heart anyway,” Leigh says softly. “Speaking of hearts, have you given yours to anyone?” 

I can tell Leigh’s pleased with her transition, a satisfied little smile gracing her face, and I hold back a laugh and let her be proud. 

“Not besides my darling little baby,” I say easily. “Why?”

“Just wondering…” Leigh says, and I can tell she’s about to burst.

“Out with it,” I insist.

“Something’s going on with you and Pez!” She accuses excitedly.

“Not really,” I say.

“So you don’t have feelings for her?”

“I didn’t say that,” I say. “But, we’re just friends.”

“Eeeeeee!” Leigh squeals. “I knew it! I always suspected there was something between the two of you, I did. I have to call Jade!”

“What’s Jade got to do with this?” I ask with a laugh. 

“She always suspected you and Perrie’s sleep overs were a little… you know,” Leigh says, raising an eyebrow. 

“They weren’t!” I choke out, wondering how Leigh and Jade kept their suspicions quiet for so long. 

“Well, that’s what I said, but now-”

“Leigh,  _ nothing’s  _ happened. Nothing besides the two of us being friendly. Perrie’s just very affectionate, you know that,” I say, fighting a blush. 

Leigh just smiles, squealing a bit more. “I can’t wait to tell Jade-”

“Tell Jade what?” Perrie asks, walking back to us with Parker on her hip. Parker is fascinated by Perrie’s hair, not even glancing up at us, just twirling the golden strands around her hands in the sunlight. 

“About brunch!” Leigh says, a little too excitedly. 

Shes panicking, and I can’t help but laugh. 

“Jes?” Perrie asks, smile in her eyes. I just shake my head.

“Nothing, baba. Leigh just wants us all to get together for brunch, and I volunteered our place, since it’s pretty central to everyone.”

“Sounds good. I think it would be nice to have everyone over to  _ our _ place,” she says with a huge grin. 

I hadn’t even noticed my slip up, but I’m not bothered. If Perrie’s happy to call it our place, then so am I.

“Am I invited?” Andre asks, settling into his chair and giving Leigh a quick kiss on the cheek. 

“You can come and entertain Parker while we have a little tipple  _ after _ brunch,” I say.

“Deal,” he says with a smile. 

We sit and chat a few more minutes before Parker starts to fuss and I know it’s time to go home. 

After a quick call to Jade, we set up brunch for next weekend and then we’re off. 

We make it home about 5, and decide to forgo our cake pick-up, having had enough excitement for the day. 

All of us are a bit worn out, I think, because we’re all asleep before 10pm. 

Wednesday comes quickly, and we meet Leigh and Andre at Aaron’s place to hand over the baby while he does my hair. 

There’s no reason for Perrie to come, really, but we don’t do anything separately besides shower these days, so of course she tags along.

Parker is a little fussy when we separate, but a text from Leigh 10 minutes later lets me know that she’s fine, cooing her way into the conversation every couple of minutes. 

I’m relieved, and so is Perrie. 

Aaron meets us outside his apartment, apologizing for being late, and clearly wearing last nights clothes.

“Busy, were we?” I tease, but he just laughs and leads us up. 

“Pezza, are you in need of a trim as well?” He asks, once we’re upstairs in his in-home studio. 

Many of his clients are high-profile, so it makes sense to have a workspace away from his actual workspace for his “exclusive” clientele.

“Nah,” she says with a smile, offering nothing more. 

I can tell that he’s wondering why she’s here, but he doesn’t press the issue. 

He gives my hair a good wash first, then lathers it in some sort of deep conditioner, and the three of us chat about everything and nothing.

“So how long have you guys been together?” He asks all too casually, making little snips in my hair. 

“What?” Perrie asks. 

“You two. How long have yous been together?” He asks. 

“We- uh. We’re not?” I say lamely, though I don’t sound so sure. 

He stops cutting my hair then, looking at me and then at Perrie and then back to me again. 

“Uh, okay,” He says, like he doesn’t believe us. 

The conversation stalls a bit after that before Azza asks after the baby, and then 

Perrie and I can’t stop talking. 

“We took her swimming last week, and she loved it! Splashing around, playing in the sun. Also Jes gets mad at me ‘cos I like to sneak her bits of cake and stuff-”

Aaron laughs, interrupting her. “You would.”

Perrie looks at him, a bit confused.

“G’on, Pezza. Sorry for the interruption.”

And go on she does, continuing to regale him with tales of all the things we’ve done with the baby since Perrie moved in and all the milestones she’s hitting and how smart she is and I couldn’t be happier. 

Aaron catches my grin in the mirror as Perrie rambles on and he smiles at me. 

“You’ve got it bad,” he whispers, while Perrie continues, oblivious.

“I know,” I whisper back, and he squeals. 

“Y’alright?” Perrie asks, looking concerned.

“Oh, fine. Just excited about Jesy’s hair, is all. It’s coming together!” He says smoothly. 

“It is,” Perrie says, shooting me a smile. “You look lovely.”

“Well thank you,” I say, affecting an Austrailian accent. 

She rolls her eyes, but keeps smiling. 

Azza sighs aloud, looking positively love-struck until I glare at him and he gets back to styling my hair. 

He’s done shortly, and I thank him before handing him a few hundred in cash that he tries to refuse, but ultimately takes. 

We chat a couple more minutes, and then Perrie and I are on our way. 

We make trips to the grocery store, the chemist, a book shop, the apple store, and finally, our favorite little sweetshop. 

The shopkeep, who I’ve learned is called Melinda, greets us on sight and asks after the baby. 

“She’s with her Auntie Leigh and Uncle Andre today,” Perrie says, and I nod. 

“That’s nice! Have yous got any date night plans?” She asks warmly.

I’m waiting for Perrie to insist we’re not a couple, but instead she says, “Nah, not really. We’ve run some errands and now I’m feeling like a bit of Netflix and some takeout. Maybe even a glass of wine?”

“Ah, that’ll be nice,” Melinda says, handing over our cake once I swipe my card. 

“I don’t like wine,” I remind Perrie, who pouts. 

“But I do! And I haven’t really had any since I moved in ‘cos of the baby.”

“I suppose you can have a little tipple, then,” I concede, though I could simply remind her that she had a glass at Leigh’s house last week _ . _ As if I could deny Perrie anything. “We’ll have to pick it up on the way home, though. I haven’t got any at the house.”

“That’s alright,” Perrie says, smacking a kiss on my cheek. “My palette isn’t too refined for $7 rosé from the corner store.”

“Alright then,” I say with a huff. 

She just smiles at me, linking her left hand with my right and shouting a quick goodbye to Melinda as we stroll out of the store.

We walk toward home in near silence, but it’s comfortable. After a quick stop at the corner store, where Perrie decides to buy not just two bottles of Rosè but also a litre of cheap vodka and a couple bottles of tonic, we finally make it home. 

“When is Leigh bringing the baby by?” Perrie asks, already dumping ice into glasses and putting the wine in to chill.

“Um, 7?” I say. “Like, four hours from now?”

“We’ve got enough time for a vodka tonic and a couple episodes of Euphoria, then?” She asks, though she’s already pouring the drinks.

“Yeah, I suppose we have,” I say with a smile. “Do you want me to put it on while you mix the drinks?”

“Would you?”

“Yeah, ‘course,” I say, making my way over to the couch. 

The title screen has just come up when Perrie enters the room, handing me my drink and hers while she runs to go get something else. 

I take a sip of mine, and wonder briefly if it’s too strong, when Perrie returns, cake and forks in hand. 

“I couldn’t wait for after dinner like usual,” she says, looking a bit like a naughty child. 

“That’s alright,” I say with a grin. “Today’s a special day, anyway. This is the first vodka tonic I’ve had in… 15 months?” I say, mentally trying to do the math. 

“Well maybe I shouldn’t have put three shots of vodka in each of these, then,” Perrie says, cringing. 

“Three?” I ask, feeling my eyes bulge out of my head.

“I like it strong!” she says with a laugh. “And so do you. Plus, I knew you’d only have one, so I figured, why not a strong one?”

“Cheers, then,” is all I say in response, clinking our drinks together before quickly downing half of mine. 

“Jeez, is this a race?” Perrie says, quickly downing half of hers to catch up. 

“Well, no, but after we watch the second episode, I need to clean the house a bit before the baby comes back. I can’t remember the last time I cleaned out the pantry. The cans that are in there have been there since I moved in. I need to be functional by the time we’re done watching TV so I’m not stumbling ‘round while I try to dust.” 

“No,” Perrie whines, snuggling into me. “How come when we don’t have to take care of the baby for 5 seconds we have to deal with the rest of adult life?”

“Just how the world works, I suppose,” I say, cuddling up to her. 

We burn through the first episode quickly, and I’m definitely feeling my drink by the time the second one rolls around. 

I try to hop up off the couch once episode 2 ends, but I end up stumbling a bit and falling onto Perrie. 

She catches me with a groan and we both bust up laughing at my newfound low-tolerance. 

I haven’t ever gone this long without alcohol since I was 16, and it shows. I’m proper giggly and feeling a little floaty, but I make my way to the pantry anyway, grabbing a trash bin, a dust rag, and a bit of pledge to shine the shelves. 

Perrie follows along, a little tipsy but hardly as affected as me, and starts going through the old cans right away. 

There isn’t as much old stuff in the pantry as I’d anticipated, turns out, but it’s plenty dusty. 

It doesn’t take Perrie longer than 10 minutes to sort through all the old cans, but I’ve only just started dusting by the time she finishes. 

She quickly fetches another rag once I tell her where they are and starts dusting opposite me. 

I save the shelf full of formula for last, quickly moving the 12 or so cans out of the way and setting them on the floor. 

“Pezza, have you got the pledge?” I ask, turning around. “I swear I just had i-”

My question is cut off early when Perrie presses her lips firmly against mine, snaking her hands around my waist. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, we get a kiss:)   
I wrote all of this over the span of about 3-4 days, so it didn't seem like the first kiss was this far into the story, but it was. A whole 43 pages in. This was meant to be a drabble🙄 It's just about my favorite story to write though, so I'm glad I've gone with it, even though it's not very popular lol:)   
Also I've definitely taken advantage of the fact that this thing is mostly written and I've been neglecting it. The next two updates will definitely be on schedule (and hopefully so will the rest of them😬) but we'll see about the others:/  
I hope you're enjoying the story so far, and I'd love to hear what you think!   
Come yell at me over on Tumblr pls✨  
@ 16sydd16 over on the ol' hellsite.   
Alright, that's it. I'll see you next week!   
Wait, while you're here: go ahead and check out some of my other stuff😝 If you like Pesy, I write a lot of it.   
cool cool.  
xx  
sydd


	5. You're a part of me now, just as much as I'm a part of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> About that kiss...🙊

She pulls back quickly, looking me straight in the eye and biting her lip, as if she’s worried about what she’s done. 

“Woah.” Is all I can muster, with what I’m sure is a shocked look on my face. 

“Is-is that a bad “woah” or like, a good “woah?’” 

“Definitely a good one,” I say with a smile, settling my own arms around her waist. “It was just- ah, just a surprise,” I stutter out, giggling. 

She laughs too, squeezing me in a tight hug. “Good.”

“Good,” I parrot, leaning my head against hers.

We straighten up when I’m startled by the sound of the fridge making ice. I look toward it briefly, and then look back to Perrie, who’s wearing a radiant smile. 

I just sigh, physically feeling my heart clench at how beautiful she is, and then start to giggle again. 

Perrie joins in quickly, and we carry on a few moments, just laughing like idiots. 

“Why are you so giggly?” Perrie asks me once our laughs come fewer and further between.

“I’m just really happy,” I say goofily. “And maybe a liiiiiiiiiiiittle drunk. Both of which are entirely your fault.”

She laughs. “I’ll apologize for neither.”

“Good,” I say, still grinning like an idiot. “Perrie?”

“Yes, Love?” She asks, tightening her arms a bit where they sit around my waist. 

“Will you kiss me again?”

She smiles big and shakes her head, almost like she can’t believe it, leaning in again. 

It’s a short kiss, but longer than the last one, which I guess is all I can hope for. This is my favorite part of a new relationship, when the kisses are short and sweet and curious and still a little unsure. I’m not quite sure how long I’ve wanted to kiss Perrie, but now that I know what it’s like I don’t know how I can be expected to _ stop _ . 

“We should probably finish up the pantry before Peanut gets back,” she says, after a couple more kisses and a lot more giggling. 

Part of me feels entirely ridiculous. I’m 27, I have a  _ child _ , and I’m behaving like a nervous 15 year old. The other part of me is telling the part that feels ridiculous to piss off and let me have my moment. 

“Okay,” I agree, seemingly incapable of producing an answer that takes any sort of real thought. 

“Alright, then,” Perrie says, making no move. 

I lean in and peck her on the lips once more before giving her a wink and going back to dusting the shelves. 

“Pezza?” I ask, turning around. She hasn’t moved. 

“Yeah?” She asks, still smiling at me dreamily. 

“I still can’t find the pledge.” 

She laughs, and then reaches behind her to grab the aerosol and hands it to me.

“Thanks,” I say.

“Sure,” she says, mouth still fixed in a smile. 

I’m useless from then on, and Perrie’s not much better. We finish tidying and reorganizing the pantry, and then set about cleaning up the kitchen. It takes twice as long as it should ‘cos we keep stealing looks and smiles and the occasional kiss. 

We’re just getting ready to order dinner when there’s a knock at the door. I hadn’t realized how late it had gotten, what with all of the excitement of this afternoon, but I’m happy to have my baby back. She hasn’t left my side since her birth, apart from the few hours she spent in the hospital nursery, and I’ve felt sort of… odd without her all afternoon. 

“Well hello, munchkin!” I say once I open the door, spotting Parker in her carseat.

She gurgles happily and immediately sticks her arms out for me. I take the carrier from Andre and usher he and Leigh inside, hearing Perrie mumble something about drinks. 

I’m too preoccupied with the baby, quickly setting her carseat on the floor and unbuckling her. She squeals when I haul her up into my arms, and I squeeze her tight. Or, well, tight by baby standards. 

“Did you have fun with Auntie Leigh?” I ask softly, cradling her so I can look at her sweet baby face. 

She coos at me, grabbing a fistful of my newly-trimmed and styled hair. I might be reading too much into it, but she seems a little puzzled by the fact that it’s straight. Still, that doesn’t stop her from shoving a couple locks into her mouth and slobbering all over them. I scatter little kisses on her face until she’s giggling and actively batting me away, shifting my attention to the other adults in the room while she tugs at my hair. 

I look up at Perrie first to find she’s already looking at me, smiling softly. I grin back, almost squealing- that’s how happy I am- before I shoot her a little wink. 

My eyes meet Leigh’s once I finally manage to tear them away from Perrie. “Thanks for taking her for the day, and for bringing her all the way back here. We would’ve come get her.”

“Nonsense,” Leigh says with a wave of the hand. “She’s quite pleasant in the car. We had a long talk on the way back here, didn’t we Parker?”

“Mmm-mm,” Parker hums back enthusiastically, before she goes back to trying to rip my hair out from my scalp. 

“Careful, Peanut,” Perrie chides gently once she sees my wince, making her way over to us, gingerly prying Parker’s fingers open where they’re clenched around my hair. “There, that’s better,” she says, Parker’s fingers now wrapped around her own. 

Parker gurgles and shakes her fists excitedly, clearly happy to see Perrie. I hand her over once she really starts to flail, and she immediately settles once Perrie’s got ahold of her. Part of me wonders if I should be jealous that my baby’s bored with me and wants to crawl into Perrie’s arms, but I can’t exactly blame her. I’d live my whole life in Perrie’s arms, if I could. 

“Do yous want to stay for dinner?” I ask, focusing my attention onto Leigh again. 

“We better not. We’re quite tired, if I’m honest, and Andre has practice tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I’ve gotta get to bed early tonight,” Andre confirms. “Next time, though?” 

“‘Course,” Perrie says with a smile. “We’ll have our favorite cake brought round so you can try it. Maybe Jes will actually let me order a whole cake instead of just a few slices if yous come ‘round.”

I laugh. “We’re gonna be 400 pounds each if we keep ordering cake like this!”

“But it’s so good!” Perrie whines, making us all laugh. Even Parker joins in, and I’m utterly content. 

Leigh and Andre leave soon after, promising to catch up when they come for brunch, and agreeing to come round for dinner in three weeks time, once Andre has a day off from work. 

Not three minutes after they walk out the door is there another knock. I briefly wonder who it could be before I open the door, but it’s just Andre. 

“Forgot my keys,” He says with a laugh. 

“D’you know where they are?” Perrie asks, Parker perched on her hip. 

“The kitchen island, I think?” He says, grabbing at the back of his neck. 

“I’ll go check!” Perrie says, making her way to the kitchen. 

“Leigh and I have taken bets on when this whole thing will become official, so I need you to do me a favor and make it happen before we come round for brunch, alright?” Andre says softly and quickly, and for a moment I wonder if he’s kidding.

He’s definitely not. “What have you bet?” I ask, confused and amused. 

“I’ll tell you later. Just, try and work it out before then, okay?” He asks.

“Like, how official? Kiss official? ‘Cos that’s already done,” I say with a cheeky grin. He smiles wide at me, before laughing. 

“Woohoo!” He says. “I knew you still had it in you. I-”

“Got ‘em!” Perrie says, re-entering the room and handing Andre his keys. 

“Thank you, Perrie,” he says with a smile, giving us both a quick hug and a  _ bye _ before leaving once again, for good this time. 

I laugh a bit and shake my head, as if to clear it. 

“Have you ordered food yet?” I ask, turning to face Perrie.

“From three different places. I work quickly,” she says with a grin. 

I laugh in return, and Parker claps, her new favorite thing to do. 

The rest of the night passes quickly, Perrie and I stuffing ourselves with chicken, veggies, and loads of mashed potatoes before we put Parker to bed and pass out in a sort of food-coma on the couch. 

Perrie gets a call from her mum about 10, and I know they’ll talk a while, so I decide to get ready for bed. 

I’m already snuggled up in bed with my ipad, glasses on and freshly showered, when Perrie finally comes to bed. 

“Hey,” she says upon entering, and I look up to meet her gaze. 

“Hi,” I say with a small smile.

“God, you’re cute,” Perrie says, walking towards me. She plants a quick kiss on my lips followed by a second, longer kiss before she pulls back, sitting in front of me on the bed. 

“Y’alright?” I ask. Usually she crawls up right beside me in bed.

“Yeah, I just want to get a shower in before bed. I also want us to have a talk once I’m done? I’ll be out in 10 minutes, tops.”

“Sounds good, babe,” I say. “I’ll just read a bit more while you’re gone.”

“Jesy Nelson? Reading?” Perrie says, as if she’s positively shocked. “I don’t know what to believe anymore!”

“I know! I heard she’s into girls now as well,” I say jokingly, pushing her off the bed. “Go have your shower, and then come back here and snuggle me.”

“Yes ma'am!” Perrie says with a salute, and I break into laughter. She pecks a quick kiss to my forehead and then runs into the bathroom. 

She catapults herself into bed maybe 5 minutes later, hair still tied up from her shower.

“You didn’t waste any time, did you?” I ask, setting my ipad on the bedside table. 

“I was just eager to get back to you,” she says, snaking her arms around my waist and pulling me close. I let her, enjoying how my body feels cradled against hers. She plants a soft kiss to the space behind my ear and I shiver. I hear her intake of breath, and she pulls me closer. 

“Pez,” I say, already feeling myself start to drift.

“Mmh,” she hums, buzzing her lips against my neck. 

“Did you want to have a talk? I’m already on my way to being asleep.”

“We can talk in the morning. Nothing will change between now and then,” she says with a yawn.

“Okay,” I say, and fall asleep quickly. 

Parker only wakes up once during the night, which is lovely, except that means that she’s up for good at 7am. Perrie goes to get her, ‘cos I tended to her when she got up around 2:30, but I follow her a couple minutes later ‘cos I know she’s dead tired. 

I find them in the kitchen, Parker propped up against Perrie, sucking at a bottle while Perrie puts the kettle on. 

“Good morning,” I say quietly, my voice still croakey from sleep. Perrie startles when she hears me, putting a hand over her heart. “Sorry I scared you,” I say with a smile.

“I know how you can make it up to me,” she says with a wink, before puckering her lips. I roll my eyes, pretending to be put off, but I oblige nonetheless. I give her lips a quick peck before leaning back in, giving her a lingering kiss and nipping just a bit at her bottom lip. 

“Mmm, now it’s a good morning,” she says, cheeseball that she is. 

I just grin. “Do you want eggs? And toast?” I ask.

She just nods her head. “Can you watch the kettle too? I’m taking Peanut to the couch and we’re gonna have a nap.”

“You just woke up!” I say with a laugh.

“Yes, which means it’s the perfect time for a nap,” she says with a yawn. 

“I’ll wake you when breakfast is ready.”

“Thank you,” she says sleepily, giving me another quick kiss before heading toward the couch in the living room. 

The kettle goes off before the eggs are finished, so I pour a mug each for Perrie and I and pop the bags in to steep while I finish up. In no more than 10 mins, everything is ready. I quickly put a bit of milk and sugar in our teas (more sugar in Perrie’s, more milk in mine) and then set about carrying everything to the couch. 

I plop everything down on the coffee table, earning a sleepy smile from Perrie and a baby-wave from Parker, who’s still sucking lazily at what’s left of her bottle. 

“Do you want me to take her so you can eat?” I ask Perrie.

She looks as if she’s going to say no, but then her tummy grumbles, so she hands Parker over wordlessly. 

After 5 months of practice, I’ve become very good at eating and feeding Parker at the same time. We finish about the same time, and I hand Parker to Perrie while I get up for more tea. 

I crawl into the little space between Perrie and the arm of the couch when I get back, pulling her back to lean against me and tucking her between my legs. She leans back contently, Parker leaning against her, as we all watch the morning news. 

Nothing terribly interesting happens, but we’re all much more awake by the time the program ends. 

Parker is all sorts of squirmy, so I lay her blanket out for a bit of tummy time and Perrie gathers a couple of her favorite toys. Once Parker is settled, Perrie curls up next to me on the floor and we just watch her. 

“Can we talk?” She asks, looking at me. 

“‘Course we can. Is everything alright?” I ask, rubbing my hand along her leg.

“Everything’s wonderful,” she says with a smile. “I just thought we should talk about everything. Also my mam called, and I have an idea that I want to run by you.”

“Alright,” I say with a smile. “Do you want to start with us, or with your mum?”

“Hmm, let’s start with us,” she says, scrunching her nose and then smiling. 

“Fine with me,” I say, pressing a kiss to her cheek. 

“I’d like to date you,” she says matter-of-factly. 

“Fine with me,” I repeat, and she laughs. “As long as you’re fine with the fact that I have a baby and like, a post-baby body.”

“As I’ve said before, and will say again, you have the nicest bum I’ve ever seen. And I love Peanut, you know that,” she says with a smile. 

“Yeah, I know,” I say, returning her smile. “Promise you won’t give up on her if things go south between me and you?” I say, almost nervously. 

“‘Course not,” Perrie says softly. 

I avoid her eyes.

“Hey, look at me,” she says, propping my chin in her hand so our gazes meet. “I will never give up on either of you.”

“But what if this goes bad?” I ask her, voicing what is really my only fear with this whole thing. “What if we get together and then I do something wrong and you hate me?”

“Jes,” she says, pushing at my knee until I adjust so we’re facing each other. 

“Yeah?” I ask softly, feeling very near the point of tears.

“I love you. You have been my best friend for nearly 8 years now, and I just want to see if we have a shot at something more. If not, no harm no foul. You’ll still be my best friend, and I’ll still be here for you and Parker, always. I want to be the one you call at 3 in the morning when you need help, always. I’m going to be in your life, and in the baby’s life, always. Okay?” 

I nod my head, letting a couple of tears sneak out. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she says with a smile, wiping the drops from my cheeks with her thumbs. “Now, that brings me to part 2 of this conversation: my mother.”

I laugh at the change in her tone, and then nod for her to go on.

“She wants me to come up and visit for the weekend. I want you and Parker to come with me,” She says a little nervously. 

It seems extreme, but the thought of being without Perrie for the weekend has me proper scared. 

“Yeah, okay,” I say, nodding. “Long as its okay with Debbie.”

“She’ll be thrilled,” Perrie says with a laugh. “I was worried you’d think its too much too soon.”

“I mean, it sort of is, but… we already live together,” I say with a laugh. “We’re quite good at too much too soon.”

“That’s exactly what I thought,” she says with a laugh. She leans in for a kiss and I oblige, happy when Perrie goes to deepen it but suddenly distracted by the kicking at my leg. 

I break away from Perrie to find Parker much closer to me than she was a couple minutes ago. And on her back. 

“Did she roll over?” Perrie asks, clearly thinking the same thing I am. 

“I think so,” I say, a slow smile creeping onto my face. 

Perrie squeals, and I pick Parker up, the two of us showering her with kisses and compliments. She squeals, eating the attention up like she always does, and it hits me how grateful I am to be celebrating Parker’s milestones with Perrie. No one but me was there the first time she laughed, or smiled, or waved her hand, but that’s not how it has to be now. Perrie is here, Perrie is happy to squeal and cry and cheer along with me. 

I start balling, big softy that I am, and Perrie wraps her arms around me and the baby, which makes me start crying harder. 

“Sorry,” I manage to choke out between bouts of tears. “Hormones.”

She just hugs me, planting soft kisses to my cheek and the baby’s forehead in turn. 

“You’ve got to stop that or I’m going to cry harder,” I warn her. 

She looks at me, confused, and I can’t help but laugh a little. 

“I was just thinking of all the stuff Parker’s done that only I’ve been around to see, and how now I don’t have to be the only one to be proud of her, cause you’ll be here to watch her scoot along the floor and watch her make funny faces when we feed her baby food and help her take her first steps and I’m just really grateful,” I get out, all in a rush. 

She wraps me in a hug again, planting a hard kiss to my lips before pulling back abruptly with a groan.

“Peanut just kicked me in the ribs!” Perrie says in disbelief. 

“Yeah well, she did that the whole last 2 months of my pregnancy. She’s very good at it,” I say.

Perrie laughs a bit and ducks back in for one more kiss before she pulls away. 

“I’m going to go call me mam and tell her we’re coming this weekend,” she says.

“Alright,” I say. “I’ll be here, catering to Parker’s every whim.”

The baby gurgles happily and flails her arms, and both Perrie and I can’t help but laugh. 

\---

The drive to South Shields is longer than I remember. Parker sleeps for the first hour or so of the ride, and is pleasant most of the way. Perrie sits in the back with her when she starts to fuss and she calms easily. I’m lucky she’s partial to being in the car. 

Debbie greets each of us with a hug, mooning over the baby once she sees her. 

“She’s just beautiful, Jes,” she says, smiling. 

“Thanks,” I say, returning her smile. “You want to hold her?”

“Well, of course!” she says, reaching for the baby as soon as I pull her out of her carrier. 

Parker warms to her easily, generally good with new people. Plus, this new person sorta looks like Perrie, who Parker could not love more, so she’s all too happy to sit with Debbie for a while. 

Perrie settles on the couch, dragging me with her, putting her feet up on the coffee table. 

“Perrie Lousie, get your feet off of there!” Her mother scolds, and Perrie removes her feet with a smile. 

Parker yells right along with Debbie, flailing her arms out wildly, and we can’t help but laugh. 

“You tell her, Parker,” I say, snuggling into Perrie and allowing myself to relax a bit. I’d managed to become quite nervous on the way up here. I’ve met Debbie loads of times, sure, but that was before I birthed an illegitimate child and started dating her only daughter. 

Parker carries on happily, talking Debbie’s ear off with her unintelligible babbling, but Debbie doesn’t mind. 

We chat a bit to Debbie as well, who suggests that we go upstairs and get settled before dinner. 

“Good idea,” Perrie says, going to take Parker from her mother. 

“I’ll keep the baby, if you don’t mind,” Debbie says, leaning away from Perrie. 

“I’ve got Perrie’s old high chair set up in the kitchen and everything, and some of those puffy baby-snack things,” she tells me, as if I need reassurance. 

“That’s fine with me,” I say with a small smile, trying to hide a yawn. 

“Alright then, dinner will be ready in 15 minutes or so,” she says. “C’mon, little one.”

She takes Parker into the kitchen, leaving Perrie to take me upstairs. 

I blow out a breath once Perrie guides us to the guest room. “I think that went well.”

“‘Course it went well, me mam’s always liked you,” she says with a huff.

“Yeah, but that was before we got together,” I remind her. “How much does she know about us, anyway?”

“Well, I’ve been very… vague,” she tells me. 

I look at her confusedly. “Vague how?”

“Well. Vague,” she says, like that’s enough of an answer. “I told her to only make up one room, and that I’ve been staying round yours. Plus, I told her that I couldn’t come up unless you and Parker came with me. I know she suspects something is going on between us, but I haven’t actually told her anything.”

“You think that’s the best way to go about this?” I ask, tucking a loose lock of Perrie’s hair behind her ear. 

“Yeah,” she says, shrugging. “I don’t- well, I’ve thought a lot about it, and truly, all mam’s ever wanted is for me to be happy. So, I’m going to do that. If she asks, I’ll tell her, but I don’t feel the need to like… come out, or anything.”

“Alright,” I say, satisfied. “Sounds good to me.”

“Alright,” Perrie parrots, kissing me soundly. “Now, let’s get everything unpacked quickly, ‘cos I’d bet she’s got some sort of dessert hidden in the fridge-”

“I brought the cake.”

“You brought the cake?  _ The  _ cake?” She questions, whispering.

I nod my head.

“Eeeeeeee!” She squeals, throwing her arms around me. 

I laugh, intending to plant a quick kiss on her cheek, but Perrie turns her head at just the right moment so that I hit her mouth instead. 

I’m a bit shocked, but it seems Perrie knew exactly what she was doing, as she quickly darts her tongue into my half-open surprised mouth. 

I respond eagerly, bringing my tongue out to meet hers as she backs me up against the door. I bring my hands to cradle her face, nipping harshly at her bottom lip before soothing the bites with my tongue. 

She wraps her arms tightly around me, keeping me pinned to the door as she sucks my bottom lip into her mouth. 

I feel her hand grab at my bum just before I hear Debbie call for us. 

“Girls! Dinner!”

I quickly pull my head away from Perrie, who leans against me, breathing a little heavy. I peck one more kiss to her lips, lightning quick, before turning in her arms and opening the door. 

She shakes her head and laughs, but takes the hand I offer as we start our descent down the stairs. 

“Well hello, Punkin’!” I coo, as soon as Parker is in sight. She squeals back at me happily, reaching her little arms out for me. 

I take her out of the highchair for a second to blow a raspberry on her belly and give her loads of tiny kisses. 

She laughs and laughs, making happy gurgling noises and grinning as wide as she can. Perrie comes over and blows another raspberry on her belly, setting her off again. I give her one last kiss before setting her back in the highchair, which she doesn’t mind. 

Debbie’s already got a bottle ready, which I thank her for. 

“No problem, Pet,” she says with a smile. “I did raise a couple ‘a kids m’self, so I still remember some of the tricks of the trade.” 

We eat and talk, conversation flowing easily between the three of us. Dinner is delicious. I was a bit worried when I saw it, as mince and dumplings isn’t the most aesthetically pleasing meal, but it’s quite tasty nonetheless. 

We make our way to the living room and watch wheel of fortune reruns as we chat. Perrie’s laughably bad at trying to solve the puzzles, as none of her answers fit together. It’s like every puzzle is a ‘before and after’. I’m not much better, slightly more logical but fairly slow. Debbie, however, is very good, and Parker happily cheers her on. 

After a couple episodes, Parker begins to fuss, so I take her upstairs to put her to sleep. 

I peck a kiss to Perrie’s lips on my way up, thinking nothing of it. 

Later, Perrie would tell me it was the catalyst for her opening up about our relationship to her mom. 

For now though, it’s nothing.

I come back down after putting Parker to bed in the little bassinet Debbie set up for her. It takes a few more minutes than usual to get her to sleep, but I attribute that to the fact that we’re in a new, foreign place, coupled with the long car journey we had today. 

I collapse on the couch next to Perrie with huff. She opens her arms and I fall into them easily, sighing happily as she plants a kiss to my temple. I snuggle into her eagerly and shut my eyes, just happy to be where I am. 

Debbie hums, reminding me that she’s there, and I open my eyes to meet hers, straightening up a bit. 

“You’re fine where you are, Petal,” she says, smiling at me. 

I just nod my head, happy to have her approval, and snuggle back into Perrie. 

“Do yous want a bit of ice cream or something? I think there’s some in the freezer. I meant to pick up a dessert when I was out today, but I forgot. I-”

“We have cake!” Perrie says excitedly, jumping up off the couch. I whine a bit at her leaving me, but she gives me a little kiss and is easily forgiven. 

“Pezza,” I call softly as she starts up the stairs. “The cake’s in my roll-y bag. The zipper’s kinda loud, so open it slowly so Parker doesn’t wake up.”

“Alright,” she says, smiling at me softly before continuing her ascent. 

“Yous are cute,” Debbie says with a smile. “Perrie gets like a schoolgirl around you.”

“I love her,” I tell Debbie honestly. 

“I know, sweetheart,” she tells me, giving me a reassuring pat on the leg. “And she loves you too, whether she knows it or not. I think she does. She was proper funny on the phone, trying to list all the reasons why she couldn’t come visit this weekend, and then finally she just admitted that she didn’t wanna leave you. Yous are living together?”

“Yeah,” I say. “I don’t know what I’d do without her, if I’m honest.”

“Don’t worry, she doesn’t know what she’d do without you either,” Perrie says, walking down the stairs with a large box in hand. “Mam, this is  _ the  _ best cake in the whole world. We have to eat it  _ now _ ,” Perrie stresses. 

Debbie laughs, but heads to the kitchen anyway, mumbling something about paper plates and forks. 

Perrie rejoins me on the couch, popping the cake down on the table and quickly throwing open the box. “Mmm.”

I laugh. “I feel like you’d do anything for a slice of this cake. Remind me to file it under “ways to get anything I want from Perrie,’” I tell her. 

“I can think of a few other ways you could get anything you want from Perrie,” she says with a naughty grin. 

I look at her, shook, and try to figure out how to respond. 

Thankfully, I’m saved by Debbie, who comes back into the living room in the nick of time, toting plates and forks. 

The three of us chat a bit longer before I excuse myself to take a shower so that Perrie can have some time to catch up with her mom. 

She must not have needed that much time, as she’s already in bed by the time I finish my shower. 

“Hello,” I say, towelling off my hair.

“Hi,” She says with a smile, looking up from her phone. “Ready for bed?”

“Nearly,” I say with a nervous smile. “Are you?”

She nods her head once, but says nothing. 

I quickly finish drying my hair, to the point that it’s just a little damp, and climb into bed with Perrie, who’s still just sitting, looking at me. 

“Everything okay, Pez?” I ask, a little puzzled by her behaviour. 

She nods her head again before planting her chin on my shoulder. 

“Can I kiss you?” she whispers, looking at me like I’m something to behold. 

I nod shyly, bringing my lips to meet hers. 

We kiss for quite some time before we go to sleep, slow and exploratory. I won’t say there’s no urgency to it, because we both clearly want to push a little further, but I’m content with this for now and I think Perrie is too. 

Our hands stay in mostly appropriate places, barring a bit of bum groping from both parties, and ultimately, we break apart when things get a little too heated. 

I plant a soft kiss to Perrie’s lips, and another to her nose, which earns me a laugh. 

She pecks a little kiss to my forehead before placing another, slightly longer one on my lips, and then lays back, dragging me with her. 

I quickly nestle my head in the little spot between her head and her neck, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her close. 

I feel her arms come up around me, and I slowly drift as she whispers a “goodnight, Babe,” in my ear. 

“G’night, Pezza.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter!! This chapter is one of my actual favorite things that I've ever written (bc of the sheer FLUFF of it all:), so I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!!   
Idk if anyone besides me is even reading it at this point lol😝 So if you are, let me know what you think! Are you happy that Perrie and Jesy are finally together? What do you think is next for them? Let me know!!  
Also, idk where pledge is from originally and what countries have it vs what don't, but in the US it's basically this aerosol cleaning spray used to aid in dusting.   
Thanks again to those that continually support my writing! You guys mean the world to me💚  
Drop some kudos or leave a comment if you feel so inclined!! Or if you're really adventurous...  
Come say hi on Tumblr!! @16sydd16  
Have a great day, and I'll see you next Saturday😊  
xx  
sydd


	6. When the world tried to break us, We found magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the shields trip, along with the beginning of the end!:)

Parker has a rough night. Maybe it’s the new place, maybe it’s the long drive, maybe she’s getting ready to start teething- I’m not sure. 

Whatever the cause, she’s up 5 times before 6am. Perrie and I take turns getting up with her, or we  _ try _ to, but with the bassinet being right next to the bed, usually both of us end up awake. 

Around 6:30, when Perrie tries to put Parker back in her bassinet, she’s having none of it. 

I motion for Perrie to give the baby to me, and I rock her a bit before pulling her down to sleep in the bed with us. 

She stops fussing and her eyes start to droop, and Perrie and I share a look of relief. 

“Stack some pillows near the edge so she doesn’t roll off,” I tell Perrie. She does so quickly, and then hops back into bed, wrapping both arms around my waist and sliding a leg between my own. 

We fall asleep like that, with me holding the baby and Perrie holding me, and I am utterly content. 

Seems like Pez and Parker are as well, as we’re still all wrapped up like that some time later when an unfamiliar sound wakes me. 

I look for the source and find Debbie in the doorway, holding her phone in one hand and her heart in the other, sighing. 

“Good morning,” I say quietly, offering her a small smile. 

“It is,” she says, looking very near tears. “Long night?”

“Restless baby,” I say with a yawn. “Everything’s alright now, though.” 

She smiles at me, eyes crinkling at the corners just like Perrie’s do when she’s really happy. “Well, I’m going to get started on breakfast, and I wanted to know if the three of you would like anything special?”

“Anything is fi-”

“I want paaaaancaaaaakes,” Perrie says sleepily, interrupting me. 

I look at Debbie and we share a quiet laugh. 

Perrie pulls me closer, planting a soft kiss behind my ear. “Pancakes,” she whispers, and I giggle again. 

“I guess we want pancakes,” I tell Debbie.

“I could’ve guessed. Perrie’s never said “no” to anything containing the word “cake,’” she says, smiling. “Anything else?”

“I like orange juice?” I say, almost like a question. 

She just nods, and then wishes me good luck with getting Perrie up and at ‘em before shutting the door. 

As soon as I hear the tell-tale sound of feet on the stairs, I make an attempt at rousing Perrie. 

It’s unsuccessful, so I decide to lay Parker in her bassinet and try a different approach to waking Perrie. 

“Pezza, wake up,” I say softly, planting a kiss on her forehead.

No response. 

“Perrie,” I whisper lowly, buzzing my lips against her ear. “Wakey, wakey.”

“Hmmph,” she groans, pouting, eyes still closed. 

“Time to get up, baba,” I say, my voice still a bit groggy like it is in the mornings. 

She opens one eye at me, attempts a glare, and then shuts it again. 

I laugh a bit, but continue trying to wake her. 

“Perrie,” I whine, and I feel her tense. I know she’s awake now, but still, her eyes remain shut. 

I hitch a leg over hers, moving so that I’m straddling her, and start sucking open-mouthed kisses along her jaw. 

Her breath hitches and she bites her lip, but she still won’t open her eyes. 

I continue my kisses, working my way down her neck and onto her collar bone. I hum my lips against the soft skin there before I suddenly dart my ice cold fingers under the hem of her t-shirt, gripping her waist. 

She jumps, finally opening her eyes. 

“Cold!” Is all she yells at me, still too-tired to properly formulate a response, and she pouts. 

“I’m sorry, love,” I say, scratching my now not-as-cold hands along her tight abdomen. I find her little scar with my thumb and trace over it softly, absentmindedly.

“It’s time for breakfast, and I had to wake you up.”

“Aren’t there better ways to wake me up?” She says suggestively, waggling her eyebrows and settling her hands on my bum. 

“Not at your mum’s house, there aren’t,” I say with a wink, giving her a quick peck before I move off of her and over to Parker, who has started to coo softly. 

By the time I’ve grabbed her and set her back on the bed with us, Perrie’s still staring at me, looking a little shocked. 

It’s nice to know I’ve still got it. 

Parker starts waving her arms once she sees Perrie, who happily picks Parker up and sets her on her lap, bouncing her gently. 

“G’morning, Peanut,” she coos, pressing a soft kiss to the baby’s forehead. “Do you want some pancakes?”

Before I can lecture Perrie on things we are and are  _ not _ supposed to give the baby,

Debbie yells up from downstairs.

“Girls, breakfast!”

Parker cheers and claps, always wanting to join in the excitement. Perrie presses a smacking kiss to her cheek and throws her into the air, earning a big squeal from Parker. 

I can’t help but smile, which earns me a long kiss from Perrie. Parker ends said kiss by nuzzling her way between us from where she resides in Perrie’s arms. 

“You know, I think you might be due to visit Auntie Leigh again soon,” Perrie coos at Parker just who claps, none the wiser. 

I laugh and give Perrie another kiss before grabbing her hand and tugging her up off the bed, baby in tow. 

We walk down the stairs like that: My left hand tucked into Perrie’s right, and Parker propped in Perrie’s left arm, leaning up against her neck. 

“Well, aren’t yous just the cutest little thing!” Debbie says happily, grabbing some orange juice out of the fridge. 

Parker squeals and makes grabby hands at her as soon as we’re close enough, and Debbie happily takes her. 

“Well good morning to you too, Pet,” she coos at the baby in her arms.

I wrap both my arms around Perrie’s right one and prop my chin on her shoulder, thrilled to see how well Debbie and Parker get on. I mean, Parker’s never met anyone she doesn’t get along with, but Debbie’s embraced us with open arms from the moment we arrived, and I couldn’t ask for more. 

“What are you smiling about?” Perrie asks me, though I’m sure she knows. 

“Just feelin’... fantastic,” I say with a toothy grin, leaning my forehead against hers. 

“Mmm,” she replies, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. 

I nuzzle my nose against hers, vaguely aware that I’m being nauseatingly affectionate, but I’m so happy that I just don’t care. 

I keep my arms wrapped around Perrie but turn my head towards Debbie, who’s already got her eyes on us. 

“Is there anything we can do to help with breakfast?” I ask her.

“Don’t be silly,” Debbie says. At the same time, Perrie snorts.

Debbie and I look at her questioningly. 

“You don’t want Jes anywhere near the kitchen,” Perrie says by way of explanation. “She’ll burn the house down.”

“Piss off,” I say with a laugh, and Debbie gives her a disapproving glare. 

I cut in before she can read her the riot act. “She’s kind of right. If it’s not eggs, I probably can’t cook it.”

“You didn’t cook with your mam growing up?” Debbie asks. 

“She worked a lot. And there were four of us. I’m the baby, so no one ever really expected me to cook anything,” I say with a little smile. 

“Well, that’s alright. If you’d like to learn, I can teach you a bit while you’re here,” Debbie offers. 

“I’d actually really like that,” I say, suddenly feeling the urge to cry. “Thank you, Debbie.”

“Happy to, Petal. Plus, you’re going to need some cooking skills. Perrie’s a good little cook, but she’s quite lazy,” Debbie says, rolling her eyes.

“Hey!” Perrie yells, pouting. “I am not.”

“You once dipped your oreos in ginger ale ‘cos you were too lazy to get up off the couch and grab a glass of milk,” Debbie says flatly. 

I laugh, and Perrie turns a little red. 

“It’s alright, babe,” I say, planting a kiss to her flushed cheek.

Parker squeals just then, as if to remind everyone that she’s there, and Debbie sets her in her high chair, sprinkling some baby-puffs onto the little tray. 

We eat and chat, discussing things that we may do today before we drive back to London tomorrow. 

We settle on visiting the park and running some errands with Debbie, though she insists we don’t need to accompany her. I can see how pleased she is when we insist that we do though, which makes me happy. 

Perrie and I are sickly sweet all morning, but Debbie doesn’t seem to mind. We finish breakfast in good time, watch a bit of the morning news and an episode of Peppa Pig, Parker’s current favorite show, and then head upstairs to get dressed for the day. 

We dress casually, in Jeans and tatty tops. 

No one’s looking for us midday in South Shields, so I’m not afraid to go out looking a little rougher than usual.

We take a couple photos and talk to a few fans while we’re out, as well as a few older people who have little idea who we are but are eager to see the baby. 

At the park, Perrie and I take it in turns to hold the baby and play on some of the equipment. Perrie takes Parker on the smallest slide, which she doesn’t seem too sure about, and I hold her and rock her back and forth on the swing, which she enjoys. There’s a little nature trail that we all walk together, and Parker is fascinated by the squirrels. 

After the park, we run to the grocery store and pop in to a few other shops. Debbie, Parker and I form a team effort to get Perrie out of a vintage shop after she’s already spent far too much money. Debbie and I both lecture her about her spending habits, though Debbie is more serious than I am. 

We arrive home around 4 or so, and then laze around the house until it’s time to start preparing dinner. 

I follow Debbie into the kitchen to “help,” though I feel I’m a hindrance more than anything. 

Perrie lays on the couch with the baby and yells in complaints about how unusually  _ long  _ it’s taking to prepare dinner from time to time, but Debbie is quick to come to my defense and scold her ungrateful child. 

I apologize a number of times for my lack of experience, but Debbie assures me that it’s alright. 

We eventually finish making dinner, and to everyone’s surprise, it actually comes out pretty well. Perrie genuinely can’t believe how good it’s come out, and tells me so. I thank her, making sure to give Debbie all the credit, ‘cos it’s what she deserves. 

We spend the rest of the night chatting and playing cards until Parker falls asleep. We talk for a bit after I put her to bed, but we’re all quite tired, and Perrie and I plan to leave decently early tomorrow morning, so we figure we better head to bed as well. 

Debbie sends us off with a bit of breakfast in the morning, and then we’re on our way. 

And thus ends our first trip to Shields. 

Nothing much happens between Perrie and I over the next few days because Parker manages to get sick, which gets me sick, and then I get Perrie sick. 

Part of me is worried that we won’t be well enough to host brunch, but we’re all symptom-free and feeling better by the day prior, so my worries end up being for naught. 

We spend the day before the girls are due deep-cleaning the whole house, which means dusting and vacuuming and scrubbing every scrubbable surface. 

By the time night falls, it’s all Perrie and I can do to each take a quick shower and exchange a tame goodnight kiss before we’re both dead to the world. 

“Perrie!” I call from the bathroom.

“Got it!” she calls back, answering the knocking at the door. 

The greeting lacks squeals and hopping, so I know it’s Jade who’s arrived first. 

“Mornin’, Jadey!” I say, bounding down the stairs with baby in tow. 

Parker gurgles as soon as she sees Jade, opening and closing her fists in greeting. 

“Hiya, Jes! The house looks lovely, it does. Baby, too. And you! You look loads better than the last time I saw you,” she says candidly, reaching for a hug as soon as we’re close enough. 

“I feel loads better too,” I say, squeezing her tight. 

Parker starts to groan at being pinned in such a tight cuddle, but she’ll have to suffer a minute. I’ve missed my friend.

As soon as we part, Parker throws herself at Jade, who takes her happily. 

“Heya, Pet,” Jade says with a smile, letting Parker nuzzle up to her contentedly. Parker coos, easily settling her head on Jade’s shoulder. 

Jade pouts at me, like she can’t believe how cute the whole thing is, and snuggles Parker gleefully. 

We chat a bit about how she’s been and what she’s been up to. There’s a boy she’s casually seeing, but judging by the way she’s gushing about him, I don’t think it’ll be casual for much longer. Perrie and I look at each other, surprised, because Jade’s not usually one to get so involved, especially so quickly. 

Perrie just shrugs, giving me that smile that I love so much, and I have to keep myself from pulling her in for a kiss. We’ve decided not to tell the girls we’re together until all four of us are here, so there will be no kissing until Leigh arrives.

We don’t have to wait long for Leigh, who’s punctual as ever, arriving just 5 minutes later. Andre comes with her, and seeks the baby out immediately. She’s thrilled to see him again, immediately abandoning her post in Jade’s arms for a spot nestled against Andre’s chest. 

I roll my eyes and Perrie laughs. 

“Your kid,” she teases. 

“Yeah, yeah,” I say, pretending to be put off. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, here we are! Sorry it's been a while, but I had heart surgery, and I've been recovering. Also, I didn't know anyone was actually still following this story over here, so I've been a bit lazy about updating it😬 soz. Thank you for sticking with me!   
Okay, I know it's a bit short and a bit late, but you'll be getting two more updates this week to make up for it.  
We've only got a bit left of this story (a chapter, to be exact) and I hope you thoroughly enjoy the rest of it.  
This was one of my favorite chapters to write, so I'd love to know what you think of it!   
I won't talk your ears off w any more notes bc I simply don't have the time:)  
Thanks again, and please comment/leave kudos/give me a follow if you're enjoying the story!:)  
come say hi on Tumblr @ 16sydd16  
Have a swell day, and I'll see you in just a few for the next and final MTW update!💛


	7. Oh, I need you more than words can say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We love a happy ending💛

“Can I take Parker out?” Andre asks me before we’ve even said hello. 

“Well, hello to you too,” I say.

“Sorry,” he says sheepishly.

“He’s been gushing about the baby and asking whether I thought you’d let him take her out while we ate for the last three days. Please, Jes, give him this,” Leigh says, looking a little annoyed. 

I can’t help but laugh. “Course you can take her out. Let me just throw the diaper bag together, yeah?”

“Alright, yeah,” he says. He’s trying to play it cool, but he’s nearly jumping up and down.

“Be right back. Pezza, can you get the girls drinks?”

“Course, babe,” she says, giving me a wink before turning to the girls. “Alright loves, what’ll you have?” 

I’m out of earshot before I can hear their replies, quickly packing up the diaper bag. I throw in some more puffy snacks because Parker’ll do  _ anything _ for a puffy snack, as well as some extra diapers, because I don’t figure that Andre’s changed a lot of diapers, and Parker does not make diaper changing an easy task. 

“Here you go,” I say as I walk into the living room, holding the diaper bag out to Andre. 

He takes it easily, as if it weighs nothing. I find it quite heavy, but he is considerably larger than me, so I try not to be bothered by it. 

“Thank you,” he says, quickly shouldering the bag. “Is there, uh, anything I should know?”

“Well, she likes being outside. There’s a park down the way, and it’s got a little walking trail. You might take the stroller if you’re gonna do the trail, though, because 5k gets a bit long with a diaper bag in one hand and a wriggling baby in the other. The park has a little nature reserve, and Parker loves to sit by the pond and watch the ducks. If she gets fussy, just give her something to eat. Nine times out of ten, that’s all she wants. Oh, and I really don’t want her face in any photographs, so if anyone asks you for a picture, just plop on her little hat, which is in the front pouch of the diaper bag, and turn her towards your shoulder,” I say.

“Alright,” Andre says, nodding his head and giving me his “thinking face.” “Is the stroller in the garage?” He asks. 

“Yeah, I can get it for you. I’ll grab the carseat on the way as well,” Perrie says, motioning Andre toward the garage. “Bring your keys, and you can just go out this way.”

“Thank you, Pezza,” I say softly.

“No prob. Just don’t get into the cake without me, alright?” She says seriously. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I say with a laugh. I give Parker a quick kiss and say goodbye to Andre, and then lead Leigh and Jade into the dining room. 

“Jesy, did you make all this?” Leigh asks once we enter, looking shocked.

“There’s no way,” Jade answers. “I’m going with deliveroo for 100.”

“Right you are,” I say in an Aussie accent, pointing at Jade and giving her a wink. “Sit wherever you’d like.”

“Thank you, I will,” Jade says, quickly settling along the back of the table. Leigh takes the chair next to her, and I ask them both how their week has been.

Perrie rejoins us shortly, and we all dig into the food. It’s delicious, which makes sense, because we ordered most of it from our favorite little bake shop. At this point, we order so much food from there that I think we’re single handedly keeping them in business. 

Once we’ve finished the bulk of the meal and are just picking at things, I head into the kitchen to get more champagne for the mimosas. Perrie follows me in, mumbling something about more strawberries for the fruit plate.

We barely make it into the kitchen and out of sight before she pulls me to her, kissing me soundly. 

I look up at her, amused.

“I’ve wanted to do that all day,” she says exasperatedly, tucking some of the hair that’s escaped my messy bun up around my ear. 

“Do you wanna do it again?” I ask with a grin, wrapping my arms loosely around her neck. 

She rolls her eyes at me, but leans in again, this time slipping her tongue into my mouth. 

Just in time for Jade to walk in. 

I know it’s Jade, because there is no immediate squealing. Instead, I hear a door creak followed by impossibly quick footsteps, and then a series of squeals when she tells Leigh Anne. 

“Should we go and try to explain, or…?” Perrie asks.

“I think if we just stay here, they’ll come to us,” I say with a smile. “Guess the cat’s out of the bag.”

“That’s such a strange expression,” Perrie says, looking adorably confused. Which, admittedly, is how she looks most of the time. Still, it’s cute. “Why would anyone want to keep a cat in a bag?”

“I dunno, Love,” I say, pecking a kiss to her nose. “I-”

“I knew it!” Leigh squeals, running into the room and wrapping us in a big hug. 

“I mean, I’ve always suspected, but,” Jade says, like the little know it all that she is. She joins the hug as well, she and Leigh pinning Perrie and I in the middle of the first Little Mix cuddle in months. 

I nearly cry, my emotions still a rollercoaster, but I somehow manage to rein it in. 

“So yous approve, then?” Perrie asks, her own eyes looking a bit glassy. 

“Of course we approve!” Leigh says, sounding shocked. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“Well,” Perrie says, glancing at Jade. 

Jade just laughs. “That was years ago, before we really knew one another. Things are different now. I couldn’t be more happy for the two of you.”

Perrie squeals and tightens her arms around me, pecking a kiss to Jade’s cheek, then Leigh’s, and then planting a quick kiss on my lips. 

I grin so hard in return that I’m squinting, and just revel in the presence of my best friends. 

No one says anything for a moment, until Leigh speaks up. “So, when did you two finally get together?”

Perrie and I share a confused look. 

“Well..” I start, unsure of where I’m going. Perrie looks just as confused as I feel, if not more.

“Umm…” she tries, but offers nothing further. 

Jade laughs. “I mean, I know when it started for Perrie, but-”

“Jade, no-” Perrie begs, sounding as Geordie as you can imagine.

I look at Jade, confused, but she just winks and laughs. “Let’s eat while we talk, shall we? I’m famished.”

“And I’m gonna need a drink if Jade’s goin’ where I think she is,” Perrie says, blowing out a breath. 

Jade cackles on, making her way toward the table.

Perrie, Leigh, and Jade each refill their glasses with a mixture that is mostly booze, but I hold off, refilling my own glass with just orange juice. 

“What happened to party Nelson?” Jade asks, looking disappointed. 

I laugh, but look around the table to see the other girls frowning as well. 

“It’s 11am!” I say, surprised. “And I have a baby, in case you all forgot.”

“Oh, come on, she’s with Andre,” Perrie says with a whine. 

“Pezza-”

“She’s right, Jes. He’ll be fine! And he can keep her long as you like. He’s in love. In fact, he’s probably bought her new trainers and a hat by now.”

“She can’t walk,” I remind Leigh.

“Won’t stop ‘im. He found these shiny rose-gold boots with little lighting bolts on the soles and he’s been on about them for days. He got mad when I wouldn’t let him have them sent to your house,” she says, amused.

“How are you not already pregnant?” Jade asks. 

“Well, I’m getting my iud out monday, so-”

“Leigh, that’s wonderful!” Perrie says excitedly, hopping up out of her chair to tackle Leigh in a hug. 

Jade and I share a surprised look, but leave our own chairs nonetheless to join the hug. 

“We’re really growing up, aren’t we?” I ask, once we’ve all settled back into our chairs. 

“Yeah, I suppose we are,” Leigh says, looking a little misty-eyed. 

“Leigh-Anne Pinnock-Gray, don’t you dare start crying,” I command, pointing my finger at her accusingly, my own voice thick with emotion.

We all share a laugh at my ever unpredictable emotions, and settle back into conversation easily. 

After a call to Andre to make sure he’s okay with the baby, and his assurance that he could keep her “forever, if I’d let him,” I let Jade hit my glass with a heavy-handed pour of champagne. 

We migrate to the living room once we’re all sufficiently stuffed, bringing the champagne with us. 

  
Perrie and I settle into out regular spot on the couch, right in the corner. Jade and Leigh settle in close on Perrie’s other side, all snuggled up as well. 

I mean, I’m assuming Jade’s hand isn’t planted on Leigh’s bum like Perrie’s is on mine, but it’s not like it would be a huge shock. The four of us have always been a little  _ too _ close by normal-people standards. 

“So, we still haven’t gotten down to when all this started between the two of you,” Jade says conspiratorially. 

“Jade,” Perrie whines. 

“Bet you thought I’d forgot, eh Pez?”

“I mean, I had hoped, but seeing as you never forget anything,” Perrie trails off with a grumble. 

“You’re right, I don’t,” Jade says haughtily. 

“What are you on about?” I ask Jade, though I’m sure she’ll tell me momentarily. 

“Well, our Pezza had quite the…  _ crush _ on you during our early X-Factor days,” Jade says with a wide grin.

Leigh and I both turn to look at Perrie like she’s got two heads. 

She hides her face behind her hands.

“Aw, Perrie,” Leigh says sweetly, finding a grin of her own.

“Shut up,” Perrie mumbles behind her hands. 

“Babe,” I try, gently pulling her hands away from her face. I peck a quick kiss to her nose. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s embarrassing,” Perrie groans, leaning her head on me. 

I can’t help but smile down at her, and soon, her face mirrors my own.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” I assure her, pushing some loose hair off her face. 

She huffs.

“Pez…” Jade starts.

“Oh, go on then,” Perrie allows. 

“Alright then,” Jade says with a grin. “Well, we got to talking about boys one night when Perrie and I roomed together, and Perrie admitted that she had a crush on one of the other contestants.”

“Ah, I see where this is going,” Leigh Anne says with a grin, as if she’s figured out some ancient secret. 

“Well, you’d have to be bloody blind not to, wouldn’t ya?” Jade asks with a roll of the eyes. 

“Hey!” Leigh yells with a pout.

I glare at Jade until she apologizes.

“Fine, fine, I’m sorry,” she says, snuggling up to Leigh. Leigh, always quick to forgive, reciprocates happily. “It’s just that Perrie’s had her hand on Jesy’s arse basically since we got to the couch. It’s very obvious where this story is going-”

“Perhaps you should just get on with it, then?” I suggest with a pointed look, not wanting any sort of squabble to taint our perfect little afternoon. 

“Okay, okay. Well, me and Perrie were talkin’, and she let slip that she liked one of the other contestants. I started badgering her about it, of course, and then I was  _ juuuuust  _ about to get her to admit who it was when-”

“No you wasn’t.” Perrie interrupts.

“Yes I was!” Jade counters. 

“No, you wasn’t!”

“Was!” 

“Wasn’t”

“Was!”

“Wasn-”

“Okay, enough!” I break in. “Jade, please finish the story. Before my kid graduates high school, preferably.”

Jade shoots me a funny look with her ever-memeable face and we all bust up laughing.

“So,” she continues, “Perrie was just about to let it slip, and then there was a knock on the door. It was yous. And I was gonna try and get you two to badger her about it with me, but I didn’t have to. She couldn’t take her eyes off you the whole time you were there, Jes. She was so obvious about it that day that I was sure you knew, but then nothing ever happened. And then we really started to become successful and Perrie was gonna tell you and I told her not to,  _ begged _ her not to, ‘cos I was worried what that would mean for the band. And then you started dating someone, and so did she, and it all just sort of worked itself out. I’m sorry,  _ really _ sorry, if my meddling put you two off of each other for all those years. I…,” Jade trails off, looking a bit misty eyed. 

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” I say, reaching a hand over to stroke her cheek. “I couldn’t be happier with the way my life is now, with my perfect little baby and the love of my life and my best friends. Everything’s worked out just as it should Jadey, never fret.” 

As I’m saying it, I realize how true it is. I pull Perrie closer, if that’s even possible, and press a gentle kiss behind her ear.

She looks at me, eyes soft, and presses a whisper of a kiss to my lips before settling herself back on my shoulder.

I shut my eyes and bask in it, utterly content and a little drunk. 

I stay like that until I hear a loud sniffle, and look up to see Leigh Anne wiping her eyes.

“Oh, Leigh,” I say, feeling tears of my own spring. 

“Jesy, stop,” Jade says, looking a bit glassy eyed herself. 

Perrie sniffles in response, and then we all break into laughter. 

“Oh, when did we turn into such saps?” Perrie says, eyes even bluer through her tears.

“We’ve  _ always  _ been saps,” I remind her with a grin.

“Oh yeah,” she says, like she’s suddenly remembering. 

Before anyone can respond, there’s a loud knock on the door. 

“Hello?” I shout, too lazy to get up off the couch.

“Uh, it’s Andre,” comes a muffled manly voice through the door. 

“It’s open!” Perrie shouts. 

The knob turns shortly after, revealing Andre with the baby in her carrier in one hand and the diaper bag and stroller in the other.

“How’ve you managed to carry all that?” I ask, genuinely confused and impressed. 

“Oh, he’s got big hands,” Leigh says suggestively, smiling and sipping at her champagne. “Long, thick fingers-”

“Leigh Anne!” Perrie squeals. Jade and I can’t stop laughing, and Andre visibly blushes.

Once we’ve calmed a bit, he’s still just standing there in the doorway, red and unsure of what to do. 

“You can just leave all that there, by the door,” I tell him. “Just get the baby out and leave everything else.”   
He does just that, and then plops himself into the chair with the baby. 

She’s all smiley, pumping her fists and squealing, and we all can’t help but give a collective coo. 

I ask Andre about his day at the park as he settles into the chair, and he reports that he and Parker had a lovely time. There might’ve been a pap photo or two, but he kept her hat on her most of the day to try and keep her hidden. He got a pretzel from one of those carts in the park at one point, and let her have a bit. He looks nervous to tell me, but I tell him that it’s fine. She loves to eat. 

“Speaking of food,” Perrie says, wiggling her eyebrows at me, “can we have cake now?”

I laugh at her pouty lip and give her a smacking kiss right between her electric blue eyes. I can tell she’s a bit drunk, but she’s so cute that I don’t have the heart to tell her to slow down. 

“‘Course we can,” I say with a grin. She squeals happily and runs off to get it, nearly tripping over herself in the state she’s in. 

“Bring more champagne back with you!” Leigh yells, laughing. 

“Oh, boy,” Andre says quietly, his face somewhere between a grin and a grimace. 

“Shut up,” Leigh says playfully. “I’m finally getting to catch up with my girls, and-”

“I know, I know, I’m not saying anything,” Andre says, giving her a sweet smile. Leigh puckers her lips and Andre can’t get out of his chair quick enough, obliging Leigh’s wordless request though Jade and the baby are sandwiched between them.

“Where’s mine?” Jade calls once they’ve finished, looking expectantly between the two of them. 

Leigh grabs her face lightning quick and lays one on her, which sends all of us into fits of laughter. Jade’s face has gone proper red, but she’s giggling too. 

“I have the champagne!” Perrie yells as she enters, carefully balancing the box in one hand, plates and forks in the other, with the bottle tucked under her arm. 

“I’m not so sure more champagne is what you lot need,” Andre says, only half-joking. 

Perrie looks a little puzzled, so I help her out.

“Leigh just kissed Jade.”

“Ah, I’m not that surprised,” Perrie says with a sly grin. 

Andre looks mildly concerned, but us girls just cackle, Parker included. 

Perrie puts the cake down on the coffee table and opens the box. 

The rooms falls silent as we all take in the chocolatey masterpiece in front of us.

“Bloody hell,” Jade mumbles. 

I hum in agreement before setting out the plates. Perrie puts a slice of cake on each plate and I hand them around the room, listening to the moans of approval as everyone takes their first bite.

“Wow, this is-”

“I know,” Perrie and I say in unison. 

We eat in virtual silence, everyone too concerned about their cake to be concerned with the conversation. 

“Fu-”

“Jade, language!” Perrie says loudly. Jade looks at her in shock, then at me, and I just smile and roll my eyes.

“No swearin’ in front of the baby,” I say, trying my best to do Perrie’s accent. It doesn’t come out great, but no one calls me on it. 

“That’s right,” Perrie says, crossing her arms. “Innit, peanut?”

Parker might nod her head, though it’s hard to tell if she actually has any idea what’s happening. She’s only close to six months, after all. And even if she can understand, she’s too concerned with the residual frosting on Andre’s plate to offer anything else. 

“Well, yous were right. This cake is divine,” Jade says, finishing off her last bite. 

Leigh nods in agreement, just as Perrie lets out a moan.

“No sex noises in front of the baby!” I chastise, shooting Perrie a grin. 

“You’re good, babe, but you’re not this good,” Perrie says drily, unable to keep a laugh from bubbling out at the end. 

“Oi, how would you know?” I ask, looking at her teasingly. 

“Just have a feeling,” she says, a challenge in her eyes. 

“Wait, so yous  _ haven’t _ had sex yet? How doe-” Jade starts, but is quickly interrupted. 

“Alright, the baby and I are going to the nursery!” Andre says loudly, covering Parker’s ears. 

“Have fun,” Leigh says, waving him off. “We have important things to discuss.”

“Lord help us,” Andre mumbles to Parker, who smiles back at him. “Ah, Jes-”

“Second floor, last door on the left,” I tell him. “It’ll be time for her nap in just a few, so if you’d like to try and get her to sleep-”

“Anything but listening to you lot talk about… this,” Andre says, looking relieved to have a task to keep him from us.

“Alright, g’on then,” Leigh says.

Andre rolls his eyes but gives her a smile and a kiss to the forehead. We all kiss the baby before we send her up with Andre, and then Jade quickly redirects the conversation exactly where she wants it to go. 

“Alright, so back to you two,” she says, looking equal parts drunk and intrigued. “How’ve you not done the naughty-naughty yet? I thought you’d been shagging for years.”

“Why would you think that?” Perrie asks, seeming both embarrassed and curious. 

“Well, you just- you’ve always been a bit gay for one another, lets be honestly. Plus, yous almost always shared a bed on tour. I just figured that, you know, one thing would lead to another, and-”

“That’s fair, I suppose,” I say, nodding my head thoughtfully. 

“Jade, we always sleep together on tour!” Leigh says, sounding a little nervous. 

“Do yous, now?” Perrie asks, waggling her eyebrows. We all laugh, apart from Leigh, who just makes loads of surprised choking noises.

“Not like that!” She yells finally. “We-”

“We know, Leigh, it’s fine,” I say. 

If I weren’t so preoccupied with Leigh, I might notice the tender look that passes between Jade and Perrie as I subconsciously pull Perrie a little closer, might notice the nod of approval Jade offers as I let my hands find their way just under the hem of Perrie’s t-shirt. 

But, I’m too busy laughing.

“I’m just- if that’s what people thought about you two, do they think that about us as well?” Leigh asks, looking at Jade. “Do they think that things just, lead to one another, or whatever?”

“No, because you give off big straight energy,” Jade tells her. “There’s no question with you, Love.”

Leigh looks to Perrie and I for confirmation, and we nod. 

“Should I be offended?” Leigh asks.

“Nah, it’s not your fault that you’re straight,” Perrie says, snuggling her head into my shoulder and planting a kiss there. 

Conversation sort of dies off after that, the four of us just soaking up one another’s presence. 

“So, are we gonna get like, a group memo when it finally happens, or-” Jade says, unable to finish her sentence because of the loud laugh I let go. 

“Actually, we were thinking we’d just make a sex tape,” I say with a laugh, nearly deafened by Perrie’s squeal in my ear. 

“Gosh, that sounds awful!” She says, scrunching her nose up and shaking her head. 

“Can I market it? A sort of Kris Jenner situation?” Jade asks, grinning wide. 

Leigh just sits there, looking positively gobsmacked, before she downs her champagne and refills her glass, then drinks that one about halfway down as well.

“You alright there, Leigh?” Perrie asks sweetly, running a gentle hand across Leigh Anne’s arm. 

“Just thinking what you could call it, is all,” she says, taking another big sip. 

“Ooh, how about  _ Little Minx’s _ ? Or wait!  _ One Night in Perrie _ ? Like Paris Hilton “One Night in Paris,” but with a French accent? It fits perfect, cause Perrie’s called Perrie, and I’m guessing she’s the bo-” Jade starts wheels clearly turning in her head. 

“Okay, enough!” Perrie yells, pulling Jade’s champagne glass from her hand. 

“That’s enough. There’ll be no sex tape, thank you. Well, at least not a public one,” Perrie says, tossing out a wink. 

“Ooh Ooh!” Jade yells excitedly, before she hiccups, probably as a result of all the champagne. 

“Can we please talk about something else?” Leigh begs with a pout.

We oblige, and get back to talking about normal things. The champagne is thrown in the fridge, and glasses of water are distributed. Andre joins us eventually, sans baby, as he’s managed to successfully get her down for a nap. He looks right proud, even though it took him nearly triple the time it takes me or Perrie, but we let him have it. I’ve no doubt that he and Leigh will be wonderful parents, and the baby will be gorgeous. 

They’re the first to leave, though it’s nearly three hours before they do. It’s Andre, not Leigh, that keeps stalling and preventing them from leaving. Once the baby starts to fuss it becomes clear as to why, as Andre can’t get up to get her quick enough. 

“He’s absolutely smitten,” Leigh tells us as he walks off, looking on him fondly. “I wanted to wait another year, you know, feel more ready, but he’s keen to have one now. He’s managed to convince me that there’s no time like the present, and I know it has everything to do with Parker.” 

“I’m happy for you, Leigh-Leigh,” I tell her, and I am. “Parker obviously was not as planned as your little one is going to be, but planned or not, I can tell you that she’s on the top of the short list of the best things to ever happen to me.”

“What else is on the list?” Jade asks, much more sober and genuinely curious. 

“Well, I suppose it could be rather long,” I say, “but how about the top 5?”

“I guess that’ll do,” Perrie says with a roll of the eyes, before she plants a kiss to my cheek. 

“Alright then. Well, I’d say the brit. The first one. I think that’s been one of my very proudest moments. Then, the last album. We finally got our world tour, got to properly do America, and got to achieve every last one of those Little Mix dreams. You three, though, definitely have to be the very best part. I wouldn’t’ve survived those first years without yous, and I really don’t see how my life could’ve been anywhere close to as good as it has been without you lot,” I say, teary now. The four of us somehow get closer on the couch, all wrapped up in one another. “Now, Jade, Leigh, I hope you understand, but Perrie,” I say, turning to face her. “Oh, my Pezza. You’ve got to be next on my list. Right up there next to the baby. You came as soon as I called in a time where I really didn’t know how I was going to make it through the hour, and you’ve made me wish that hours could go on for days. I’m grateful for every moment that I get to spend with you, and I know it’s only been a couple weeks, but you’re it for me. Each night, I go to bed, more in love with you than I can even comprehend, and somehow each morning when I wake, my body is filled full with even  _ more _ love for you. Oh, I sound like such a cheeseball,” I say, gasping out a laugh through my tears. 

I’m unable to take my eyes of Perrie, who’s fully crying, until she pulls me in for a kiss. It’s probably a little too long and a little too deep for how near we are to Jade and Leigh, but they don’t seem to mind. 

“Oh, that was a lovely proposal, that,” Jade says, dabbing at her eyes. 

We all manage a little laugh, breaking up a bit of the seriousness of the moment. Perrie turns to me again, just for a moment. 

“I love you.” She says with such intensity and feeling that I’ve never believed anything more. I peck a quick kiss to her head, knowing if I let my lips find hers again that we’ll easily slip into the “indecent for public or within sight of any other living being” category. Andre comes down with the baby just then, only to find us all crying. 

“I swear, soon as I leave, waterworks,” he says with a little laugh, smiling at the four of us (mostly Leigh Anne) warmly. Parker waves her arms madly until Andre brings her over to us, and she practically flings herself into my arms. 

I cuddle her close, feeling more content than I ever imagined I could as she ruts her little head into my neck. 

I see a flash again, like I only have once before, of our future all together. 

Parker, taking her first steps as the four of us circle around her on the floor as Andre fetches Leigh snacks from the kitchen to satiate her weird pregnancy cravings in between bouts of cheering Parker on. Leigh, insisting we go out for dinner on her dime after Parker’s first dance recital. Jade, offering quiet encouragement and a quick pep-talk ahead of Parker’s first talent-show performance. Me, a crying mess as we drop her off at school that first time as a gentle hand rubs my back and wipes my tears. 

It’s Perrie, always Perrie. Perrie, trying her best to learn to throw a ball and swing a bat when parker announces she wants to play tball like the neighbor boy. Perrie, learning Parker’s favorite songs so she can sing them as a comfort on rough, rainy days. Perrie, reading the same bedtime story over and over, never tiring of reciting the same old words day in and day out, a sunshiney smile on her face visible even in the dim glow of the nightlight as Parker learns the words along with her, even before she can read. 

Perrie, pinning me up against the wall in the hallway as soon as I’ve closed the baby’s door once we’ve tucked her in. 

Perrie, leaving a trail of clothes for me to find after I drop Parker off at Preschool that eventually leads to her singing at the top of her lungs in my shower.

Perrie, walking down a long, flowery aisle, happy tears streaming from her big blue eyes as we make the most important promises in front of our friends and family. 

A gentle touch to my cheek brings me back to the present, where Perrie is waiting, fingers brushing along my jaw.

“You alright?” She asks softly, just to me. 

“Everything is perfect.” I tell her with the biggest smile I can muster. 

And it is. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So here we are, at the end! I meant to post this in two shorter parts, but there was no good stopping point, so I've just put it all out at once.  
Please excuse my stupid sex tape joke. I know it's stupid, but I was too weirdly proud of it to leave it out. Also like, it works?? Anyway, soz.   
Thank you so so SO much to those who have stuck with this story!! It has been an absolute joy to write, but the time has come to move on. It's basically seventy-odd pages of fluff, and while it makes me a silly sort of happy to write, I need to move on to something with more plot.   
If there's interest, I'd be more than happy to write a couple of one shots based on this story. Like, snapshots of years ahead- Parker's first day of school, her first t-ball game, Pesy's first big fight, etc etc etc. I absolutely love the idea with Pesy with a baby, so I'm not sure when I'll be able to FULLY give up the More Than Words universe :)  
I love reader interaction!! Please leave some comments and let me know if you'd like one shots from this story, if you liked how it ended, or if you think I should just put it to bed lol.   
Also, I'm aware that the ending is like, disgustingly lovey-dovey, but I had to do it😜  
Thanks again to those who leave kudos and comment! You guys literally make my day when you do that, and you make me want to keep writing more pesy stuff!!   
Speaking of more Pesy stuff: Ex and NEM both have updates coming very soon. Emphasis on very. Now that I've finally finished this one off, I can devote more time to those! Which, it's kind of crazy that I managed to finish this before Ex (it's RIDICULOUS, actually, bc EX is a 4 part story (albeit with longer parts) and this one is nearly TWICE as long length-wise. And I started Ex first!), but I'm happy to have another story completed.   
Also want to give a quick thanks to those who follow me, because the fact that any of you actually want to read my writing ASTOUNDS me, but the fact that some of you want to like?? keep up with me an know about new stuff?? absolutely BLOWS MY MIND!! Thank you guys so, so much💛   
And to those who don't follow me: you may want to, because there may or may not be a new story on it's way very soon👀  
One last thing: Pesy on this tour?? They're real, you guys. I'm tellin' ya!😜  
Please vote, comment, follow, or come say hi over on Tumblr at 16sydd16. Oh, and let me know what you'd like to see next!💜  
Have a splendid day, and I'll see you soon:)  
xx  
sydd

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, here we go again! Another Pesy fic.  
I started this one weeks ago (accidentally- thanks @1TheArtOfLosing1) but I didn't want to start posting a new story until my longest WIP, "(no one else can fix me) only you" was finished, and now it is, so here we are!! Woo!!  
The first 5 chapters of this story are already written and (mostly) edited, so I'll be posting a new chapter every weekend (Friday or Saturday, depending on my personal weekly schedule).  
This is totally different to anything else I've ever written (Pesy or otherwise), so I hope you guys will comment and let me know your thoughts!!  
Also, sorry for my mixed slang. I'm American, and British baby slang is weird to me. Moses Basket? Come on now. It's a Bassinet (which I believe is a word we stole from the French, but that's neither here nor there). JK, but I probably will slip between American and British slang. So if that bugs you, sorry.  
I hope you've enjoyed this chapter! Please leave Kudos if you feel so inclined, or come say hi on Tumblr @ 16sydd16  
Thanks for giving my writing a read! I appreciate it✨
> 
> xx 
> 
> Sydd


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